“For the better,” I agreed.
“Yeah,” she said softly, movin’ her hand to palm my neck the way I’d done to her, fingers brushin’ the wings’a the owl tattooed there. “Why the owl?”
I could feel the grin hangin’ crooked on my face. “Figured I could use a little wisdom in my life.” When she only narrowed her eyes at me, I gave in with a shrug. “It’s a symbol’a self-actualization. I wanted to be courageous and insightful enough to create a good life for myself despite my circumstances. First tatt I ever got.”
“It suits you,” she complimented.
“Why the bluebird?” I asked ’cause I’d been wonderin’, too.
It took place’a prominence on her left deltoid, surrounded by leaves and flowers.
“Bluebird,” she said with a small, wistful smile. “My mum called me that when I was little before she left. It’s why I first dyed my hair and got this tattoo. They’re symbols of hope and good news arriving soon.”
I smoothed her hair away from her face to kiss her forehead, her pierced nose, her sweet mouth. Empathy for her made pain pulse through me like a wound carved outta my centre.
“It’s okay,” she whispered, soothin’ me even though she was the one needin’ it. “I have a feeling it’s finally arrived.”
And when she tugged my ears down to kiss my mouth, I knew there was nothin’ in this world I wouldn’t do to make that hope for joy a reality.
BLUE
It was disorientatingto live two lives simultaneously that were so wildly different. One heaven and the other hell. My time with the Raiders at the Furry Creek farm and my time with Aaron and at work with Lin and Eugene, The Fallen men and Old Ladies coming in for appointments and beers respectively as if they wanted to get to know me just as much as Aaron did.
Well, maybe not just as much.
When we weren’t together, which wasn’t nearly as much as either of us would’ve liked, we were texting.
Bones: I miss your mouth.
Bones: And your pussy.
Bones: I want to put my tongue inside’a you.
Blue: My mouth or my pussy?
Bones: Don’t make me choose.
Bones: No, wait, pussy.
Blue: Are you always this horny?
Bones: You can blame yourself for that. It’s gotten so bad I pop a boner when I just see the colour blue.
Two weeks passed in perfect,terrifying balance.
I loved going to work. Helping other women feel beautiful might have seemed trivial to some, but it filled my heart with joy. Confidence was so hard won in a society that told us we had to be perfect in all ways and all things, especially as women. So seeing the look of awed gratitude and self-love on the faces of my clients was incredibly rewarding. To my surprise, I even loved serving at Eugene’s, and not just because it kept me too busy to spend much time at the Raiders’ farmhouse. The clientele was an eclectic bunch from bikers to Entrance locals to those passing by on the way to or from the north looking for a cold beer to combat the hot June air. I met someone new and fascinating almost every day and squirrelled away the cash tips in my backroom locker to keep Rooster from claiming them as well as most of my paycheck.
Rooster was busier than usual, too, working on securing funding from that unknown ‘sponsor’ who wanted to see The Fallen ended. But there was chatter about issues back in Alberta. Apparently, Hazard had forcibly taken over a small independent club in Lethbridge that resulted in serious casualties on both sides.
I was happy to hear it because it meant my husband, in name only, would not return for another few weeks.
Which gave Lion, the lawyer he introduced me to, Mr. White, and me enough time to file the paperwork.
Apparently, I could be legally unwed in as little as three weeks.
I hadn’t told Aaron yet. Mostly because I was terrified something would happen and the uncontested divorce either wouldn’t work or wouldn’t even matter in the end. But also because I was a closet romantic and the idea of handing him my divorce papers as a gift was too good a dream to give up on.
In the meantime, I was having a secret love affair with the best man I had ever known.
