The shift in his frame was so infinitesimal it was barely noticeable. But I’d spent years learning to read his body language so I recognized the blow before it came. I tried to duck the ham sized hand that swung toward my left ear, but he used his other hand to grip my shoulder too hard to move. It was a move he’d used before, clapping the meaty palm over my ear so pain and dizziness erupted in my head.
I stumbled away when he released me, but my vision was swimming and I couldn’t find a straight line to walk.
Vaguely, I heard the distorted sound of his chuckle.
“Never too bright, were you, Faith?” he taunted me as he watched me reel from his hit. “Dumb bitch just like your mother was.”
I had been too young when she left to remember her clearly, but Rooster liked to tell me about her whenever I acted in ways he disapproved of.You’re so much like your mother.
As if the only way to express my worthlessness was to equate it to the woman who’d given birth to me and promptly became a drug addict and then eventually runaway.
Probably to get away from Rooster.
I knew he wanted me to blame her, but how could I?
I’d runaway myself and I’d do it again as soon as I could be certain Grouch and Aaron were safe.
“What do you want from me?” I asked Rooster, straightening even though my entire head felt like a throbbing wound. “Why were you looking for me?”
“You’re my daughter,” he said the way someone would say ‘because I said so’ as if it was a good argument when it wasn’t any at all.
“I’m a grown woman, now.” I moved my hand away from my aching ear to fist it on one hip. “I don’t need your help or protection, anymore.”
He guffawed, all smiles again, the edges rusty with old cruelty like blood stains. “You’re never too old to listen to your father. Family is the most important thing, Faith. Didn’t I teach you that?”
Unbidden, I thought of the family I’d witnessed at The Fallen MC clubhouse. The way the group had embraced me as soon as Aaron vouched for me. The way they interacted, like they’dknown each other forever and through thick and thin. Like nothing and no one would ever come between them.
A sharp ache slid between my ribs like a blade, so visceral I had to look down to be sure Rooster hadn’t stabbed me.
“You did, which is why I’m here. Let Grouch go and promise me you won’t threaten or hurt him again,” I demanded, trying to stare him down when there were still stars bursting through my vision from his hit. “I won’t come back with you unless you swear it, Rooster. And I know how people in your club swear on things.”
My father peered at me through those eyes that haunted my nightmares like the red orbs of some monster under my bed. “I don’t have to promise you shit, girl. You’ll do as I say because if you don’t, I’ll kill him.”
Fear and anger twisted my insides into a knot. I wanted to be brave so badly but my knees shook and I had to lock them to stay standing. It was one thing to pump myself up when I knew I was safely away from my abuser and another thing entirely to be within striking distance of him.
But I would be brave for those I loved.
And Grouch had only ever stood up for me in that quiet, stalwart way he had that made me feel protected but also gave me room to grow by myself for the first time in my life.
“If you let him go, I won’t run again,” I told him solemnly, reaching for the blade attached to his belt. He watched me with wary eyes as I unclipped the leather and slid the blade into my palm. Even with a weapon in my grip, Rooster knew I was no threat to him. “I’ll swear it.”
The blade quivered slightly as I hovered it above my palm, waiting for his acknowledgement.
“You’ll live with Hazard as his wife as you’re meant to,” he demanded. “And you’ll contribute to the damn club this time. Zeus Garro’s fuckers burned down the one fuckin’ foothold we’dmanaged to make in this godforsaken province and handed over our thieves to the fuckin’ pigs so we’re short on cash temporarily. I want you workin’.”
Hope almost choked me, a great, shining bubble of it perched delicately on my tongue.
“I can do that,” I said slowly, so that I wouldn’t give away my excitement.
“No fuckin’ hassles, Faith, or I’ll lock you in your room for a month.” His gaze split me open like one long slice from a scalpel.
I’d been on the edge of emaciation in my youth under Rooster’s care. Mostly because he forgot to feed Red and me more often than not, our house an empty cage compared to the rowdy, excess-filled clubhouse where our father spent most of his time. We mostly subsisted on canned pasta and pop tarts. When Red turn thirteen, he was deemed old enough to ‘hang around’ the club, but I was only granted that permission as Hazard’s wife and I quickly found out the clubhouse had food aplenty, but never enough to satisfy the hunger of the kind of men in Rooster’s company.
I’d been too skinny, too malnourished and pale, an impression of a girl instead of a real life woman to draw too much salacious attention from the men. And Hazard had intimidated them enough to curb the rest.
But Hazard wasn’t in British Columbia.
And whatever Rooster said, he wanted me back at home as a tool of service, not because he missed me by his side.
