Shucks, Ko.
It was my sister. Defeated, I unlocked the phone and found a link to a social media profile.
Unfortunately for her, that man is as good as gone.
The picture linked to the message was one of a beautiful girl and an arm full of tattoos that I knew all too well. They’d been pressed against me every night for a month straight.
Now that that’s over, I’m ready for some alone time with my favorite person.
The caption was large and in bold print on the gossip page. My heart plummeted to the ground.
AngelCalissea.
The name of the original poster ruffled my feathers and toyed with my thoughts. She wasn’t the same person that had called him just an hour ago. This was someone completely different. I closed my eyes, considering the fact that I wasn’t the only person Fohr spent time with, plunging into their uterus, and filling their head with sweet nothings.
The idea was repulsive. The possibility that anyone else had been stroked the way he’d stroked me or regarded the way I had been over the last few weeks was sickening.
“Ugh.”
I considered calling Ko to vent about the situation in totality, but I didn’t have the energy. I wanted my couch. I wanted my wine. And, I wanted my pajamas.
Him, too. The version of him that he led me to believe he was. The version of him that felt good. Felt right. Felt worthy.
But, he was too farfetched, so I settled for the others and powered off my cell altogether. The fate of our future felt a little less certain now. The feelings I’d began developing for him felt a little less deeper now.
Was it all made up?
Was I dreaming?
The questions led me to my bedroom, into my closet to retrieve my pajamas, and into the kitchen to pour a cold glass of wine from one of the bottles in the freezer.
Is the Fohr I know even real?
He felt real.
He smelled real.
He sounded real.
I’d touched him.
I’d kissed him.
I’d sucked him.
I’d held him.
I’d fed him.
I’d bathed him.
He was real, I concluded. Because that was the only logical answer.
And, this is all a misunderstanding.
Or a loss. I contradicted.
Optimism failed me.
