“Wow,” I said. “It sounds like this is really just working out for you.”
“It is,” Josh said.
He looked at me and held my gaze for a moment before looking away again. I took a deep breath, and then asked the question that was hanging in the air.
“Then why do you look so sad?”
Josh reached down and took my hand in his. “You know why I am sad,” he said.
My heart was pounding at his touch, but my eyes filled with tears. “I can’t be the reason you stay,” I said. “I just can’t. It’s too much pressure, and it's too much weight. We wouldn’t be able to withstand that.”
“I know,” he said. “And that’s why I’m going.”
I nodded and looked down at our hands. I gave his hand one final squeeze and then stood up. “Let’s go find Rylan,” I said.
Josh stood up next to me and nodded. We both knew that there was nothing more to say about the matter. We walked over and I sat and watched as Josh joined in the football game. An hour later, we left the beach, and Josh drove me home. I said goodbye to Josh and Rylan and felt an overwhelming sadness.
I climbed into bed that night and finally let myself shed the tears that had been threatening ever since Josh told me he was leaving. I lay down and closed my eyes, racking my brain to see if there was another solution.
Chapter 20
Josh
“I will be out in a bit, Bud,” I said to Rylan. “I have to make a couple of phone calls.”
He was settled on the couch watching his favorite movie and just nodded in response. We were having an unusually lazy Saturday morning, but I knew that it was time to make the call and accept the position with the Rogers Group.
I went into my room and sat on the edge of the bed.
This is the best thing,I thought.And like she said last night, she can’t be the reason I stay.
As I pictured her face, I knew she was right. As much as I wanted to stay and be with her, I knew that in the long run it could cause problems for us.
I took a deep breath, and as I began to dial the number, I noticed a call coming in from Brenna.
“Hello,” I said, immediately answering the phone. “I was just thinking about you.”
“Really?” she asked. I could hear a smile in her voice, and I was glad that she seemed happier than she had been the night before.
“Yes,” I said honestly. “How are you today?”
“I am good,” she said. “But have you called them in London yet?”
“No,” I said. “I was just getting ready to.”
I heard her let out a sigh of relief. “Good,” she said, her voice uncharacteristically timid.
“Why?” I asked, curious about what she was thinking.
“Well,” she said, “I spent a long time thinking last night, and I decided that I needed to be honest with you.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’m listening.”
My heart was pounding because I could tell by the tone in her voice that I would most likely like what she had to say, but I was also nervous about what it might mean.
“I know I told you last night that I can’t be the reason you stay here,” she said. “And I still believe that.”
“I believe that too,” I said. “Obviously, there is something between us. It’s been this way for a really long time. But you are absolutely right that you can’t be the reason I stay, and the reality is that there is no other real reason for me to stay other than you.”
