I glanced back at her again and she was looking at me, her eyes filled with emotion. I stared at her for a moment, and then forced myself to look away again.
We connected during that look, just as we had the day before. I felt it, and I knew that she did too.
“So, what are you going to do?” she asked, softly.
I sighed and shook my head.
“I am not sure,” I said. “I know that it is a tremendous opportunity, but I would have to walk away from, a lot. And I just don’t know if I am willing to walk away. I know that Rylan will thrive wherever we are. I am not worried about that.
But I think about how hard I have worked to get to the position where I’m at with my own firm and I like the freedom that I have with being a partner. I would lose some of that freedom by going and working for the Rogers group.
But on the other hand, the salary is incredible, the opportunities are incredible, and I would be working internationally.”
“Have you talked to your parents about it?” Brenna asked. I looked over at her, and couldn’t help but notice that she was staring straight out of the ocean. It was as if she was avoiding looking at me.
“Yes,” I said. “I talked with both of my parents, and the conversations ended basically the same way my conversation with Rylan ended. They both said that either option is great, and they’re trusting me to make the right decision.”
“What does your gut tell you?” she asked. “You obviously have great instincts to get where you have gotten. So what do your instincts tell you now?”
I stared at her for a second. I knew that I hadn’t told her what Paul Rogers had said to me, but here she was saying the exact same thing.
“Why are you staring at me?” she asked.
I told her about my conversation with Paul, and she laughed.
“That’s funny, but it’s not really rocket science,” she said.
“This is one of those things where you just have to go with your gut. Kind of like I did when I decided to come out here and run the B&B. Do you remember what I said to you that day when we talked? Remember how I said I felt as if I was being drawn out here?”
I nodded. “Yes, I think about that day a lot.”
“So then, what do you feel drawn to? What do you feel is pulling you? Where does your heart tell you that you belong?”
I looked over at her.
You, I thought. I feel drawn to you. I feel that you are pulling me. My heart is telling me that I belong with you.
I shook my head and looked back out to the ocean.
“I don’t know,” I said.
I knew that no matter how I felt about her, I couldn’t do that to her. She had so much going on in her life already.
She was about to embark on this brand new business, and the last thing she needed in her life was a new relationship, especially a complicated one. I couldn’t just date casually. I had to consider Rylan in the equation, and especially if I were to be dating Brenna. He already knew her, and clearly cared about her a lot.
If we were going to have a relationship, it was going to get very serious, very fast. She was only 29 years old. I was pretty sure she had never planned on being a mother to a teenager!
But I would want to marry her, which would make her a mother. There was no way I could do that to her.
“You don’t know?” she asked.
I thought I heard a twinge of disappointment in her voice, but I couldn’t be sure.
“No,” I said. “I’m not sure.”
“You have until next Saturday to figure it out?”
I nodded.
