Jax meets Shawn’s gaze. “Because we’re mates, there’s a strong risk with me fucking Shawn like that, when he’s in heat and we’re shifted and knotted, that he could catch.”
My eyes widen. “You’d risk that…for me?”
“Come on,” Todd gently says to Jax. “You know you’ve been wanting to for a while, even though you’re chickenshit. You’ll be a great father. We’re friends here, dude. Todd-to-Jax time. Stop trying to compare yourself to your old man and worrying you won’t be as good a father. You’ll be a fantastic father. And everyone in this damned pack knows Shawn’s been wanting a pup for years.”
Jax takes Shawn’s hand. “Are you sure?” he quietly asks. “Even with all the other bullshit over our heads right now? It’s your call.”
Shawn nods, finally smiling. “No backing out on me when we already agreed we’d start trying. You know how much I want this. You will be a great father. No more delays. Please? If nothing else, even if I don’t catch this time I want to do this. I mean, what are the chances of me catching this time, right?”
Jax stands and leans over Shawn, pulling him into his arms and pressing his lips to Shawn’s forehead while Shawn wraps his arms around Jax.
“In addition to losing our playtime, we’ll never get rid of Dad and Pops,” Jax mumbles against him. “You realize that, right? Hell, they’re going to want to move in with us to be with their first grandpup.”
“Maybe one of your brothers will give them grandpups first,” Shawn says. “You never know.”
Jax straightens. “Since none of them are mated yet, that’s doubtful.”
“Wait, how many brothers do you have?” I ask Jax.
“Five.” He straightens after dropping one last kiss on the top of Shawn’s head. “I’m the oldest. Three more Alphas, a gamma, and an omega. The gamma and omega are the youngest and still live with Dad and Pops. Meaning they’d probably move in with us, too.”
Shawn snickers. “At least you’ll have plenty of help learning how to change diapers.” Then he focuses on me. “Well?”
I stare up into Todd’s gaze again. I feel his love for me—and his fear of losing me—radiating through my soul like a blast furnace.
For the first time in my life, my soul feels nourished, cherished.
I look at Jax. “When do we start?”
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Todd
On your mark
“Shawn, can you take point on the arrangements?” Jax asks.
Shawn sits back in his chair. “Yeah, because I need to coordinate with Todd. You and Mal both should have no clue what’s happening until we start doing it.”
“Why?” Jax and Mal both ask.
Shawn smirks. “Because it’ll be difficult enough for both of you to get and stay in the headspace required of you for this to have the best chance of working. Not to mention,” he says to Jax, “you already have an overflowing plate of shit to manage. You don’t need to worry about these deets.”
“Can we hold the hunt here?” I ask.
“I was hoping you’d volunteer,” Shawn says. “It’ll make everything easier on all of us if we do.” He glances at his phone to check the time. “Jax, you should probably go on to the rec hall. I’ll text Susan that I’m not coming in and that my day’s gone sideways.”
“What about me?” Mal asks.
Shawn indicates me. “I do believe that’s his call, although you shouldn’t be with us while we discuss the logistics.”
I kiss the top of Mal’s head. “Why don’t you go on down to the barn? Just tell the guys we were delayed for pack Alpha business.”
“Okay.” He rises on his toes and kisses me before heading out the back door, and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to follow him.
Jax stands. “Okay, I’ve been given my marching orders,” he jokes, but he pulls me in for a long hug, slapping me on the back. “Congratulations, man. I’m truly happy for you both. I just wish the circumstances were better so we could celebrate it the usual way.”
“You and me both,” I say.
