If Axel could not deal with this—and her—she might have to force herself to say good-bye to him. Some people could make this a side journey in their lives, an occasional mini vacay from normalcy.
Sheneededthis. Not even the impact play, although that was nice.
She needed thecontrol.
Sheneededher thinking brain periodically shut down by a trusted someone strong and sure enough to master that mental switch in her brain and who was confident enough in themselves to know when to step in and forcibly activate it for her.
Landry, Cris, and Bob could not be those men.
It also wasn’t fair of her to demand Axel be someone he wasn’t or couldn’t be, no matter how much she loved him.
Tilly had called her last night and talked to her briefly. She’d put forward the offer and promise that, if things didn’t work out between her and Axel, they would absolutely collar her to them, non-sexually, until Skye could find someone they’d sign off on. As long as she didn’t mind it not being a romantic situation between them.
A safety net, and she damn well knew it. They wanted her to make relationship decisions not out of desperation to hold on to a tiny part of something not right for her. They wanted her to know she had options.
Except…she loved Axel, and even with that safety net in place to cushion her fall, she wasn’t sure shecouldmake herself walk away from him now.
When Landry and Axel started talking, she tried to remain perfectly still and not move, to keep her mind where it had been ordered to be, on the poses.
One thing that became crystal clear to her was Axel, for some reason, didn’t feel like he measured up.
Desperately, she searched through their time together to see if there was something she’d done to make him feel that way, or things she could have done better to build his self-esteem. Had she failed him?
“…In case you cannot, as my sweetly vicious firebrand phrases it, pry your head out of your fucking ass and step up to own Skye the way she truly deserves.”
Her face flamed as Landry’s words echoed through the room.
Axel sounded…nearly despondent, if she had to label it. She choked back tears as she listened.
“Two,” Cris said without looking up from his phone.
She smoothly bowed, deeply, back rounded, forehead touching the mat, arms stretched out in front of her, thumbs touching. She felt vaguely uncomfortable that they’d talked about Bob, knowing Bob would hear every word.
That discomfort grew as Landry started talking about Cris.
Cris set his phone down and stood, walking over to her, standing directly in front of her, her fingers almost touching his toes. He squatted in front of her and reached out, gently fisting her ponytail.
“Every word he speaks is the truth,” he softly said. “Don’t feel uncomfortable on my account. He’s not saying anything we haven’t already discussed privately multiple times.”
“Skye isnotbeyond your control,” Landry said. “You have a choice to make—”
“If my fear of losing her is greater than my fear of hurting her.”
Cris released her hair. “Three.”
Skye didn’t have time to process Axel’s comment. She rose to her knees, sitting up, hands laced behind her head, shoulders back and breasts out. They didn’t make her spread her legs wide the way Bob had to when he was put through poses, just wide enough she could maintain her balance. Landry had told her he didn’t want her to be sexually conditioned to their play.
The pose did put her eye-to-eye with Cris’ brown gaze. “At some point tonight, hopefully, Landry will swap himself or me for Axel. If this goes according to plan. Landry’s smart, but no guarantees Axel won’t get squirrelly again. If you feel sexual contact, it’s Axel, not us. Understand?”
She nodded. She also wasn’t allowed to call either of themSirorMaster, again because Landry didn’t want to condition her to them. She could only call TillyMa’am, notMistress, for the same reason. She was allowed to nod or shake her head, or to say their name in lieu of a title.
On the baby monitor, Landry said Cris’ name, followed by a phrase in something she suspected was French, before the connection went dead and they heard nothing but static.
Bob walked over and turned off the unit.
* * * *
Landry turned from where he’d just switched off a baby monitor Axel had not noticed sitting on his desk before that moment.
