Skye turned, grabbing paper towels to dry her face. “What kind of offer?”
“You can train with Bob under Landry. Indefinitely. The goal, of course, is to try to slowly bring Axel up to speed and find a level that is mutually beneficial to you both, if possible, but I didn’t get into that with Axel outside. I already called Landry and he’s on board. We can do it here or at the house. House would be easier because of schedules. That way, you can do this, and Axel doesn’t have to.”
“Did Axel agree to that?”
“I don’t know. I told him to pull his shit together and to nut the fuck up, then I came inside. That’s still to-be-determined. Fair warning, Axel probably thinks I’m a complete bitch now. Which I’m totally good with, but I do not suffer wishy-washy lightly. Especially when it’s for no damn good reason, and people can get badly hurt by it.”
“It’s not fair of me to want this when he doesn’t, is it?”
“You didn’t lie to him about who you are. You were honest. It’s up to him to decide what he can and can’t do. I will tell you that if you’re thinking about staying with him and not playing, you’ll be miserable. I’ve seen that happen. Maybe for a year or two things are fine, but eventually, resentment creeps in. That’s soon followed by hatred, and before long, another relationship bites the dust. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I’ve seen go wrong more times than not.”
Skye collected her things and followed Tilly out of the bathroom.
* * * *
Axel prayed Skye didn’t hate him. As she walked up to him, followed by Tilly, who was followed by silent Bob, he struggled to think of something to say.
“I’m ready to go,” she softly said.
He nodded, digging his keys out. He knew he should probably go say good-bye to Walt, at least, but right now he felt like an asshole and wanted to get out of there.
He turned and led Skye out to his car, but she stood at the passenger door, hand on the handle, waiting for him to hit the key fob.
So he did, heading for the driver’s side.
The chilly silence that descended over their ride home threatened to rip his heart out.
“Are you okay?” she finally asked.
He didn’t miss that she didn’t call him Sir.
He…was shocked to realize he missed it.
“No,” he said.
“Do you not want me to play with any—”
“I don’tknowwhat the fuck I want!” he screamed, shocking not just her, but himself.
Except…
Now that the dam had burst, he couldn’t hold it back any longer.
“I want to do the right goddamned thing here, I really do. But I fucking love you, and I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you except I don’t see where I fit intothat. Icannotdo that for you. I can’t. I’m sorry, but it’s not in me to hurt you like that, even if you want it. I went outside and puked my guts up, okay?
“And I gotta tell you Skye, no offense, but after what Linda put me through, I really don’t want to get married again. Period. Might live with someone, eventually, but I’m still feeling like I don’t even have my emotional shit together and that was a few years ago.”
“Mightlive withsomeone?”
A cold chill settled over him as he realized what he’d said. “I…I didn’t mean it likethat.”
Fuck.
He didn’t even know where the fuck that had come from.
He didn’t think this could get any worse.
He was wrong.
