“What do you mean?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just felt like there was a reason he didn’t want to meet.”
“So you’re not talking anymore?”
“We are. We didn’t for a few days, but he reached out and said he wanted to meet. We agreed to talk for a few weeks, and we’re going to meet after the wedding. I figured that was okay. Is that okay?”
“We will be done with lessons,” Landon said with a smile I could tell was forced. “I will bow out gracefully.”
“I’m not intending to hurt you.”
“I know. And it’s fine. You need to figure out what makes you happy. And if this guy is the one who makes you happy, I can’t tell you not to meet him.”
“Thanks. But I need more lessons. Since it was not so easy to get him to agree to meet, I know I’m going to need to do better when we actually get together.”
“Flirting online can be tough. In person, you can use more than just words.”
“True.”
“I guess your next lesson needs to be flirting without saying a word.” He wiggled his eyebrows.
I laughed. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Maybe I just like to hear you laugh.”
Damn, he was good. My entire body flashed with heat. “I can understand that.”
“Good. What would you do to make me laugh?”
“Strip?”
He choked on his water. “That would definitely not make me laugh. I’d be speechless, not laughing.”
“Men are simple creatures.”
He nodded. “Yes, we are, but I’m not speechless every time I see a naked woman.”
“I don’t know what I would do to make you laugh.”
“That’s okay. Everyone is different. I suggested that since you said you want laughter in your next relationship. Relationships and flirting aren’t just about sex or chemistry. They’re about finding things that keep you together. Of course, you know that. Sorry.”
“No, you’re right. My ex and I didn’t have enough things that kept us together. We had chemistry at first, but we got married because I ended up pregnant. We didn’t go into it with that plan. We never had that plan. We decided to get married because of Mikayla, not because we couldn’t imagine not being together. We were never like Natalie and Omar.”
Landon nodded but didn’t say anything.
“Is that… I didn’t mean to get into my failed marriage. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for your past. I wasn’t thinking about that. I was… I had the same thought about Omar and Natalie. Reegan and I were never like that either. By the end, we were comfortable. We spent time together. She’d show up at my place, and I’d go to hers. We had routines. But watching Natalie and Omar is showing me a completely different side of relationships that I’ve never experienced.”
“Same.”
“But I want to. One day. I want that.”
I ached to agree. To say I was hoping for it, too. But I couldn’t. The idea of opening myself up, to being that vulnerable with another person, and watching them walk out the door… It would break me for good.
“Anyway,” Landon said when I didn’t agree, “I’ll give Adam a call and see if he can meet with you this week. I need to get back to work, but I’ll let you know what he says.” Landon stood and carried his tray to the trash. He dumped his trash and kept going, walking outside and leaving me to finish my lunch alone.
Not that I blamed him for being upset. But I couldn’t change the way I felt. No matter how much I wished I could.
