“They’re all good. We have dark chocolate with sea salt and caramel, milk chocolate with cherry, and white chocolate with ganache inside. Of course, you have to see the cake.” Valentina pointed to a massive penis cake taking center stage on a table against the opposite wall.
“Oh, that’s amazing,” Melody said, leading me to it.
I stared at the gigantic dick-shaped cake and couldn’t hold back my laughter. “This is the best party I’ve ever been to.”
“Woohoo!” Natalie said, hearing my comment and joining us.
Everyone else echoed her cheer.
“I’m so excited for my massive penis,” Natalie said. She threw her arm around my shoulders. “I’m so drunk. But please don’t write that.”
“I promise you, we’re going to get the fun and the excitement of the night, not the details.”
“Perfect. Now, let’s get you a penis!” Natalie shouted, eliciting cheers from everyone else there.
I had to laugh. It was going to be a fun night.
11
Penis necklace. Penis drink. Penis ice cubes in the drink. Penis snacks, penis pizzas, penis cake. I was married for a decade and hadn’t ever been around so much penis in my life.
It was kind of fun.
“I was really disappointed we couldn’t throw penis confetti everywhere, but Xavier was afraid some would be left behind,” Melody said as we sat down with our slices of penis pizza.
“Yeah, that would be bad,” I agreed. “It would have been pretty great, though. I didn’t know this many penis things existed.”
Melody snorted. “Right? It’s wild the stuff that’s available for bachelorette parties. Daisy and I had way too much fun. The penis curtain was my favorite.”
I shook my head. The doorway to the movie theater was covered with a curtain of penises that hung like streamers from the doorway. Upright penises, of course. White and navy, like their wedding colors. All the tables had matching penis decorations strung around the edge. And more penises on coasters and centerpieces.
“I have to say, walking through a curtain of penises was a first for me.”
“The penis drinks are pretty good. I was so happy we found these glasses and the stir sticks.”
I couldn’t help laughing. Everything for the party had a penis on it.
“More drinks!” Willow said, returning to our table with Elise right behind her.
Willow was Melody’s sister and closest friend. They had a falling out a few years ago, but things improved and they were close again. Elise and Willow hit it off when they realized they shared the same dirty sense of humor.
“So, who’s getting laid tonight?” Elise asked not at all quietly.
Cheers went up from half the guests. A whistle followed, punctuated by the steady bass pounding from the speakers as Magic Mike played on the theater screen.
“If I wasn’t planning on it before, watching this movie is making me ready to run home now,” Willow said with a saucy wink.
“Right?” Elise stared at the screen as the main characters executed body rolls that did not seem like any real human could perform. “This is the next best thing to a strip club. I think Daisy is a genius. And you for helping put all this together.” Elise hugged Melody.
“It was fun. The movie is a great option. Natalie said she wanted something low-key and relaxed. Daisy had all the ideas. I just helped her pull it off.” Melody took a sip of the drinks Willow and Elise brought us.
I followed suit, letting the sweetness of the liquor settle in my stomach. I was more than a little tipsy. I was supposed to be working, but I was having fun. The party was a huge celebration of friendship and love, and I was honored Natalie invited me.
The party continued as the men on the screen practiced all their gravity-defying moves, and I enjoyed all the penis perfection and cock concoctions.
“Oh, shit,” I breathed as I stood to go to the bathroom.
“You’re trashed.” Melody caught my arm and laughed. “How many of those did you have?” She nodded at my empty drink.
