“Are you sure about that?” Finley asked.
“I trust Casey. And if we tell the whole story, with matching and all that, maybe it’ll help other people who are on the fence about signing up for Book Boyfriends Wanted. Like Gretchen. Not that I would really want to meet someone from there just for sex, but maybe it’ll lead to more for her like it did for all…most all of us.” Natalie flashed me a sympathetic smile.
“I think it’s a great app to meet people for sex,” Elise said. “I did that all the time before Colin and I got together. Hell, it’s how Colin and I got together.”
“What?” Daisy asked. “Are you kidding?”
Elise snorted. “No. Not even a little. I pissed off Karissa and Hudson all the time.”
“Why?” Daisy asked, glancing at Karissa, who’d been quiet so far.
“Because I wanted my app to be used to create connections. To find the person you’re meant to be with. Not for hookups. There are enough apps out there for that,” Karissa said.
“And Hudson was pissed because I would always meet people at O’Kelley’s. I knew he would make sure I was safe when I was there. And he would know who I left with if I wasn’t there,” Elise explained.
“That’s smart,” I told her.
“Thank you!” Elise cried. “Finally, someone who gets it. You’re single. Are you living it up with the app? Wait, are you on Book Boyfriends Wanted?”
“I am on it, but living it up… not so much,” I confessed.
“Why not? If I were still single, I’d be hooking up with as many men as possible,” Elise said.
“Same,” Willow agreed.
“I don’t think I would,” Natalie countered. “I never felt like I could relax and enjoy casual sex.”
“If you’re looking for something serious, then yeah, it’s not easy to enjoy it. I was never looking for that. I had no intention of ever getting into another committed relationship,” Elise said with a shiver.
“But then Colin swept you off your feet,” Blake said with a grin.
Elise snorted. “More like he waited me out until I got my head out of my ass and realized how amazing he is.”
“Which is what you needed to be swept off your feet,” Blake said.
Elise wrinkled her nose. “True. I was stubborn.”
“You were wounded. Emotionally,” Chelsea, Elise’s cousin, said. “You didn’t know how to trust a man after what happened.”
“No, I didn’t. I could screw them senseless, but if they even thought about something serious, I would run screaming. Until Colin.” Elise trailed off with a dreamy smile that made my heart squeeze.
Did I want that? A part of me said I did, but I wasn’t sure. Kyle was less than great as a husband, and the sex was the only part of being married I ever missed.
“As the one who’s only ever been with one man in my entire life,” Melody began, “I don’t have a point of reference, but sex has definitely gotten better over time.”
“I agree with that,” Blake said. “Sex with Ian was better than with William from day one, but over the years, it’s only improved. We have more of a connection. It’s not just sex for the sake of sex. There are days when I’m exhausted and feel like I can barely keep my head up, but he’s there for me to rub my feet and take care of things at home to ease my burden, and when we finally get into bed, that partnership continues. Everything about it is better.”
The others around the room nodded, adding their own stories to the conversation.
I sat back and listened, feeling like I had nothing to contribute. Not just because I was single, but because sex with Kyle was good, but it was for the sake of sex. It was the only link we shared over time. We got married because of sex. We stayed together as long as we did because of sex.
And when it came down to it, we both knew we couldn’t survive in a marriage that was only about sex.
I enjoyed sex, but sex was an act. It was a momentary connection. It wasn’t something that made me want to spend the rest of my life with someone. No matter how many of the women in the group said it brought them closer to their significant others.
I just wanted an orgasm or two. I could get that from anyone. I didn’t need more than one night.
7
