Her head tilted to the side.
“Wiley?”
“Tiny.”
“Oh, okay.Sooo?”
“So, if anything, and I mean anything pops off, shoot first, ask questions later.Got it?”I knew what I was asking of her, just like I knew the exact reason she hated guns, but this was a necessary evil.When we were kids and I swore I’d always protect her, neither of us had any idea what that would end up meaning.It wasn’t always chasing the darkness away.Sometimes it meant becoming the villain.Other times, like now, it meant pulling her into the shadows with me, praying we both found our way to the light again.
She stared blankly at me.
“You’ve got this.You’re strong.”I kissed her cheek, hoping I was being overdramatic by taking extra precautions, and as soon as we walked inside, Wiley would ride my ass for going in there guns first.
“I’m not scared, Shane.”She tightened her shoelaces as she spoke.
“You aren’t?”
“Nuh uh.”
“How the hell are you not?”
She shrugged.“Dunno.I’m just not, I guess,” she said in an uneven voice, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.
“You’re a damned liar, Corinne.Always have been,” I called her out.
“Agree to disagree.”A broad fake smile spread across her face, and then her cheeks puffed out as she blew out a breath.
CHAPTER21
SHE’S SIXTEEN
COR
Past
“Happy birthday, baby girl.Blow out your candles,” Mom said, proud that she had baked and decorated the cake.I didn’t have the heart to tell her she was about ninety days late.My birthday had taken place three months prior.
I obliged her, blowing over the cake, watching the flames flicker, and then go out.One, two, three, I began counting the number of candles on the cake.There didn’t seem to be quiet sixteen, some were missing.Okay.Not some.Three were missing, which shouldn’t bother me but piled on top of the fact that she had forgotten and missed my actual birthday, it hurt.Saying something to her about it was pointless, she had been the same person ever since Dad left us, more or less.Over time, holidays lost their importance to her and were celebrated fewer times with each passing year.Eventually, they were completely forgotten all together.So, I kept my mouth closed even though it hurt.She might be late, but this was the first holiday Mom seemed genuinely happy to be present for in a long while.
My eyes were transfixed on the cake as I sat there deep in thought.
“Do you like it?”Mom beamed, bouncing from one foot to the other with excitement.
“Yes, thank you,” I said with very little enthusiasm, finding it more than difficult to feign happiness for Mom’s benefit.By now, I figured I would be immune to feeling pain over little things like the incorrect number of candles on top of a cake, but I guess I was only human.It cut a little deeper that out of all the people around me, my mom was the one who hadn’t taken the time to grab a few more candles and shove them beside the others.They came in packs of twenty or twenty-four I think, so even if we didn’t have enough lying around in a drawer somewhere in the house, a quick trip two minutes down the road to the store would have fixed the problem.
The more I thought about it, I questioned if any of the negative parts of today were really at the root of me being upset.The smaller number of flames hadn’t jumped out at me before I blew them out, so why did they matter to me now?Although this day was two pages away from my birthday on a calendar, Mom was at least putting forth the effort.I kept reminding myself of that, but in the back of my mind, there was a gnawing voice telling me I wasn’t important enough for her to care whether I had been safe all of these years that Davey was in our lives, much less for her to remember the little things to make me happy.
I propped my elbows on the table, resting my chin on my palms, finding the scratches on our worn table more interesting than celebrating a day that meant absolutely nothing to anyone other than Mom.Shane, Isaac, and Tate had surprised me as soon as the clock struck midnight on my actual birthday with a cupcake and random gifts.None of the presents hidden beneath wrapping paper were expensive, but they meant the world to me.
I was disappointed with myself for letting this get me down and wanted to scream until my lungs gave out.Maybe then I would know what it felt like to be heard.If I thought it would have done any good, I would shout at Mom.But after ten years of forgotten holidays and continuous neglect, I was more than aware saying anything was pointless.It wouldn’t make anyone feel better.In fact, it would probably make everyone feel as badly as I did.I didn’t want anyone to experience what I did, so I remained silent.
“What’s wrong, Corinne Lacey?”she asked, plucking the candles from the cake one at a time and dropped four in front of me.“C’mon, I left the icing on the bottom of them for you to lick off.”
“No thanks,” I quietly mumbled, fighting back tears.My throat burned, and I sniffed.I disliked crying as a general rule of thumb, but I hated it even more if anyone saw me doing it.
Something looped through my pinky beneath the table, and I jumped, my head jolting up, and immediately I found a set of concerned blue-green eyes carefully watching me from across the table.I shyly smiled at Shane, but my brain had gone into panic mode.Isaac was seated to my right, and Tate was on his left.I was the first to break eye contact, quickly glancing at Isaac and then back to Shane.What was he doing?We were going to get caught.We had been extra cautious, but with each day that passed, our resolve slipped a little more.At first, it was stolen glances and inside jokes, and now it was not-so-public displays of affection.It was only a matter of time before someone figured out what was going on between us.When that day came, I prayed whoever spotted us was understanding because I couldn’t go back to being only friends with Shane.It would kill me.
“Mom worked really hard on this cake for you, Cor,” Isaac said through gritted teeth, and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from completely losing it on him.My nostrils flared as I glared at him briefly, and I felt the tears slipping down the bridge of my nose.I quickly rubbed my face against my shoulder, getting rid of the evidence.Mom forgetting my birthday hurt, but Isaac standing up for her instead of having my back blindsided me.Sure, we weren’t as close as we were a few years ago, but he had always protected me from the things he knew were happening.He literally threw a knife at Davey for hitting me, all the while Mom was screaming at Isaac to drop the weapon.I expected Mom to put me second but not my brother.
