I closed my eyes, and she gasped, both of us realizing all of my fingers were firmly planted around her tit.Her nipple hardened against my palm, and I know I wasn’t the only one who felt the tip of my cock wedged between her ass cheeks.I didn’t want her to be my best friend’s little sister anymore.Honestly, describing her as such hadn’t sat well with me for some time now.Over the years, she had become my best friend, too.The friendship between Isaac and me was somehow different than what Cor and I had.I didn’t know if Isaac and I would have wound up being friends if we hadn’t grown up sharing a yard.But things between Cor and me seemed as natural as rain.Where I ended, she began.We simply worked together.There wasn’t a thing in this world I believed she would judge me for talking to her about, and the feeling was mutual…until it wasn’t.
She stared at me with those starry innocent eyes, and the only thought I had was sinking myself inside of her.I was a shit friend.I was a shittier person for sexualizing a moment that shouldn’t be.Thinking about screwing her should never be something that crossed my mind, and definitely not multiple times a day.I wanted to murder anyone who thought of her like that, but my motives were far from pure.
“Um,” she whispered as her eyes dropped to my hand on her chest before returning to meet my gaze once again.
“Oh, shit!Sorry.”I jerked my hand off her as she readjusted the fabric to cover her body.Her cheeks flushed while she pinched the strings, pulling them around her neck and out for me to tie them again.
“It’s okay.Don’t worry about it.Alright?I’m not.I’m like your sister, right?That’s what you told Isaac, isn’t it?”Her voice quivered as she spoke the word sister.I hadn’t told him that exactly, but I should have.I’d just groped her and couldn’t clear the thoughts of screwing her from my head long enough to realize how uncomfortable she was.
“I said I would protect you like you were my own sister,” I mumbled, hating myself for ever wording it like that.I quickly tied the strings and cleared my throat.“There, all done.”I cupped her upper arms in my hands and lightly squeezed, patting one with my hand afterward.This situation was already awkward enough, and I was only making it worse.
“Right.Like I was your sister.Same difference, isn’t it?”She blinked slowly and sighed before licking her lips.My brain went haywire; it was too much.Her pink tongue gliding along those perfect lips and her warm body still pressed against mine…if she didn’t leave soon, I was going to do something that would make her and her brother hate me.I wasn’t able to take another second of this without kissing her.
“It’s not what I meant.I was just trying to protect you, little dove.I’ll always protect you,” I admitted, making my mind up that it was me who I needed to protect her from at this moment.She came to me because she trusted me, and here I was ready to betray her trust because we unintentionally got to second and third base with each other.It was an accident, but I wanted everything with her—all the bases.However, thinking of her like this wasn’t right.
“I can protect myself, Shane.”Her body stiffened, and she scrambled to her feet.“When are you going to realize I’m old enough to do a lot of things?”Her voice was raised in irritation.Good.She should be mad at me.I was.I hated the feelings I had for her because I wasn’t supposed to have them.I’d always cared about her, but I didn’t know when my feelings had morphed into something more.
CHAPTER12
DREAMING OF THE PAST
COR
“Please don’t tell Isaac.Please, Shane, he can’t know it happened again.He’ll kill him this time.Please,” I begged Shane to keep yet another secret from my brother.He gritted his teeth together as he dabbed alcohol over my busted lip, and I winced.Davey, my mom’s boyfriend, wasn’t always abusive when he drank.I had actually begun to think he might not hurt me anymore; it had been six months since he’d hit me.The last time Davey used me as a punching bag, he was stupid enough to do it with Shane there.Shane pulled a butcher knife out of the block and threw it at Davey’s hand.Davey ended up with a tiny cut to tend to, nothing major.The knife barely nicked him.Mom threw him out on his ass that same night—it was one of her good nights.Of course, he was back the next day with his excuses and apologies, begging our mom to give him another chance.That night Mom wasn’t as strong.She believed his lies because she wanted to I guess.Mom being naïve, or maybe she was in denial, led her to forgive him.She always did.
“Cori, for fucks sake.Your lip is busted.How are you going to explain that?”he hissed.
“I’ll tell him I tripped climbing through your bedroom window.”
His eyebrows pulled together, and he looked down his nose at me.
“What?It happened last week, and he was even there to see me do it, remember?He’ll believe it,” I sighed while he squeezed a tiny dot of triple antibiotic ointment onto his finger and smeared it on the corner of my mouth.Asking him to keep my secrets was one thing, but now he was going to be lying with me.This wasn’t what friends should spend their time doing.The secrets kept between us should be about something less…violent?Honestly, I really didn’t know what other people told someone when they confided in their friends.Davey had been beating me for years, and as far as I knew, the only person who knew just how often it happened was Shane.I didn’t even know if Mom was aware of how many times Davey had hurt me.
“That asshole has hit you for years, Cori.This has to stop!He’s going to end up killing you!I can’t let that happen, Cor.I REFUSE!I wanted to kill him the first time he did it, and every time he does it, I can feel myself getting closer to actually murdering the bastard in his sleep.”He peeled the backing off the tiny band-aid and put it on my cheek, sniffing back tears.He slowly shook his head as his glassy eyes roamed my face, and he lightly stroked where he’d stuck the band-aid.“The only way to make this stop is to tell the police.There’s enough evidence against him for them to arrest him.”His thumb gently ran across my bottom lip.“If we don’t do something to stop him, he’ll end up killing you one day.I’m not willing to risk you.Why are you protecting him?One phone call and this ends tonight.”
“Who?Davey?I’m not.He can spend an eternity with Satan as far as I’m concerned, but Isaac can’t mess up anymore.He wants to go into the military.He has a bright future.I’m not going to ruin that for him.At least one of us deserves to get out of Cleveland and do something amazing with their life, right?”I asked, taking his hand into mine.“Please, Shane?This is the last time.I promise.If it ever happens again, I’ll go to the police.”I sniffed back the tears creeping into my throat, but it was useless.Tears slid down my cheeks, and my heart ached.I didn’t cry for myself because I was used to this happening.I felt emptier inside seeing what this was doing to Shane.Abuse and neglect didn’t only cause pain to the people present, it got those on the sidelines, too.Shane had kept my dark secrets locked away within his soul for years now, and every time I added another, I dragged him closer to destruction along with me.
“You promise you’ll call them if he ever gets violent again?”He pulled me into his arms.
I nodded, against his bare chest.“Yep, but not right away,” I admitted, peeking up at his face through my lashes.
“What?You just said you would call them.What kind of games are you playing?Fuck this!I’m calling now.”His arms loosened around my body.
A weak laugh somehow found its way out of my lips, “Just hold your horses.Will you?You’re not following what I mean.”I grabbed his wrists, wrapping his arms around my neck, and then crossed my hands behind his lower back.Calling the cops was the worst thing I could think of doing right now.Nothing good would come from it.
Isaac had spent the majority of his childhood and early teen years protecting me in one way or another.I refused to let Shane call the cops simply because I was suffering.It would cause a chain reaction and the end result would break our family apart.Mom would probably be arrested for neglect.I didn’t even want to think about where Isaac and I would end up if that actually happened…but I doubted it would be together.
Isaac had fought so hard our entire lives to keep our family together by taking care of me in one way or another.He always made sure I was fed and our clothes were washed.Ya know doing the basic things any parent should be doing.Those responsibilities kind of came along with having kids, not being the older sibling.I didn’t understand this when I was younger, but now, it was blatantly obvious that if it hadn’t been for Isaac and Shane looking out for me, I wouldn’t be here.As sickening as it was to think about it, I honestly didn’t know if I would still be alive if it weren’t for the two of them.They didn’t always see eye to eye when it came to certain scenarios.Shane had a soft spot for me, and I had one for him, too.Over the years, that spot had morphed into something bigger, though.Every time he agreed to help me hide my dark secrets, the edges weakened a little more, and now when it came to Shane, I didn’t know where he began and I ended.I hated asking him to carry this for all of these years, but I had to remember Isaac, too.I wasn’t the only one who would be affected if Shane told anyone about tonight.
One short call to report the years of pain I had endured would inevitably open a huge investigation into our household.There were certain situations that should never be underneath a giant microscope, and ours was one of them.Mom sure as crap hadn’t been the one to care enough about either of us to consider her kids’ safety before letting Davey back into the house time and time again.So, Isaac had always picked up the slack in the areas where she was lacking.Now it was on me to step up and deal with the BS of the world that no one should have to deal with.It was my turn to be strong for him, even if he didn’t realize that was what I was doing.If he ever found out what I had done, the years of abuse I’d hidden from him, there was no telling what he would do.The guilt alone would kill him.I couldn’t let that happen.I owed him too much to let him blame himself for someone else’s horrible choices.He would never see it like this, but even though he was the older brother, he was still just a kid doing his best to survive a bad situation as much as I was.
“Then help me understand, Cor.”
“I’m not saying I wouldn’t call them.I’m saying calling the cops wouldn’t be the first thing I did.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because of this.Us.I’d find you first, and then you’d give me the strength to take the next steps.”I squeezed his body tighter, and he did the same to me.He may never fully comprehend just how much I wanted him in my life, but I would always be thankful for his friendship above all else.He’d kept countless secrets from my brother over the years simply because I asked him not to tell Isaac.It was wrong of me to ask, but I didn’t have anyone else to turn to.Honestly, I didn’t want anyone else either.
