“Rowdy, I’m not straddling you. What if someone comes in?”
“Then they’ll see you straddling me. We’re grown.”
I shook my head, and against my better judgment, I managed to squeeze onto the tiny hospital bed and put my legs on either side of his.
“Am I hurting you?” I asked before resting my head on his good shoulder.
“No, this shit feels good as hell. When I leave this hospital, I need this every night. You can start looking for our house?—”
“A house? Slow down, baby. We haven’t talked about marriage or kids yet, but you want me to start looking for a house?”
“I’m sorry I ain’t made that shit clear. Noelani, you will be my wife and the mother of my children. I couldn’t imagine it being anyone but you.”
“You want to marry me?”
“I do, but after I share a few things with you, the feeling might not be mutual.”
His words made me nervous, and I immediately began thinking the worst. Already defeated, I pressed my chest against his, rested my head on his shoulder, and closed my eyes, prepared to hear the worst.
“I’m listening.”
By the time he finished telling me the whole truth, I honestly didn’t know how to feel. Stealing was wrong. Stealing moneyfrom drug dealers was idiotic, insane, and dangerous . . . but was it wrong?
“Why steal money from dangerous people instead of just getting a job?”
“That’s a good question, and I’m not really sure I got the answer you’re looking for. When I started, I was young and didn’t know any better. I was good at it, and the adrenaline rush was crazy. Every time I got away with it, I wanted to do it again. I was able to help a lot of people in my neighborhood with the money.”
Am I crazy if I think what he’s saying makes sense?
“I thought you were selling drugs. Why didn’t you want to tell me this before?”
“I told you I wasn’t a drug dealer. Why didn’t you believe me?”
“Because that phone call?—”
“I don’t care what you heard, Noelani. You asked me if I sold drugs, and I told you I never have and never would. I have no reason to lie to you.”
“But you weren’t transparent. You wouldn’t be laid up in this hospital bed with a bullet hole through your shoulder if you had told me everything when I asked.”
“I couldn’t because I had one more hit, and I didn’t want you to try to stop me.”
For the first time since he began telling his truth, I sat up to look in his eyes.
“Are you crazy? Why would you hit up another spot when you knew they were looking for you?”
“I had my reasons.”
“No, Rowdy. That answer ain’t good enough.”
“I needed the money to take care of a few things.”
“Things like what?”
“Repairs for my uncle’s shop, a car for Mina, and a down payment for our house.”
I should’ve fussed at him for putting himself in danger, but I didn’t because I was compelled to acknowledge his big heart. This man told me that he’d been stealing money from drug dealers for over ten years and used most of the money he’d stolen to bless others. It was stupid and dangerous, but also . . . noble.
“I’ve never wanted to strangle and hug someone at the same time. I want to be mad at you, but it’s hard to find the wrong in what you’ve done. All these years, you’ve been risking your life to help the less fortunate. You have such a big and noble heart, and I love you even more for it, but you have to promise me you’re done. You can’t keep risking your life to help others. I’ll help you find another way to give back that won’t put you in danger. I can’t lose you.”
