JAKE WAS RELUCTANT to end his call with Madi, but he could feel himself slipping up and had to call it a night. He couldn’t believe how easily she picked up on the fact that something was wrong. It still amazed him how, even over the phone, she could read him like a book. He’d never met anyone that understood him the way she did.
He hated keeping things from her, but he didn’t want her to be afraid. Jake said a silent prayer that Peter Markum would screw up quickly and get himself permanently placed behind bars where he belonged. The Halloween party Madi was attending was news to him. The guard Rob was sending would need a costume to blend in. Jake made a mental note to check in with Rob in the morning.
Jake yawned as he slid into bed, pulling the covers over himself. The tour was coming to a close before Thanksgiving, and tomorrow he had a huge concert in Denver. He had mixed feelings about the tour ending. He loved being on stage, meeting his fans and traveling, but he was also anxious to spend some time with Madi and start working on his next album. Madi had brought out so many new emotions in him. He’d already written a couple of new songs. He was astonished at how much of an impact she’d had on him in such a short amount of time.
Jake still struggled daily within himself. He couldn’t shake the nagging worry that she would suffer when people found out they were dating, especially if she was still in school. He hated that he’d just kept something so major from her, but he convinced himself he was protecting her by doing it. He’d tried to protect her from the very start. After the concert in Chicago, the video of him saying, “This is for you, Madi,” before singing his song, “The Way You Make Me Feel,” had spread like wildfire. The press started searching to find out who Madi was and if they were dating. With the help of Ang and Caleb, Jake had managed to make sure none of his contacts revealed Madi had been on tour with him. It was a close call. Someone had released to the press that Jake had a Madi working for him, but Jake had managed to hide any facts surrounding it. Caleb let it slip that he might have said Allie. Jake was pissed at first, but realized he’d done it just to throw them off. The press had moved on when they saw him with Allison Gregory at the hospital fundraiser. Now reports were circling that they were dating. He had zero interest in her. She couldn’t compare. He smiled to himself at how lucky he was that Madi had walked into his life.
She still didn’t get how much she meant to him. Jake smirked as he thought of the surprise he had for her when he saw her in Chicago for Thanksgiving. He was sure it would help her transition from Chicago to L.A. He knew the idea of moving so far from her family and Kendra was a huge factor, but he wasn’t going to give up until she was with him. He hadn’t been home but once during the tour, and the sight of Madi’s room across the hall from his left him speechless with an ache in his chest.
Jake lay on his bed in the tour bus as it made its way to Denver. Everyone was asleep and it was just him and his thoughts. Jake folded his arm behind his head and stared at the ceiling. He remembered the night Madi had accepted his apology in Chicago. He closed his eyes as he pictured her face. He’d reserved a penthouse suite for the night. He’d hoped Madi would forgive him and that he wouldn’t have to cancel the reservation. He’d been thrilled just to be near her. The penthouse had just been so they could have somewhere private to be together, in case she wanted to stay.
They had pulled up to the hotel, and Madi had gone through the front door with Ang as Jake had gone around the back. When Ang had finally brought Madi to Jake’s room, he had already been there for ten minutes, waiting for her. He’d never forget the look on her face when she’d walked through the door.
He knew she probably hadn’t eaten, so he ordered both chicken salad and steak. The room was dark, except for the fire that burned near the table for two, set up in the suite he’d reserved. He remembered feeling nervous as she approached the door. He’d never been nervous with any woman before, but Madi wasn’t just anyone. When he’d finally allowed himself to admit how much he loved her, it opened the gates to feelings he didn’t even know he had. He’d never connected to any girl on the same emotional level as he had with her. No one else had ever managed to get him to talk the way she had. She knew more about him than anyone, and the first time he had kissed her had meant so much more than any kiss before her. Would they be the same as they were before today?
Jake got his answer when she opened the door. She glanced around the room and brought her hand to her heart, her mouth gaping.
“Do you like it?” he asked.
He smiled. Her gaze fell to the floor as he approached her. She was still so shy around him. Her nervousness made him less worried and more certain of who they were together and just how much he absolutely adored her.
Her eyes glanced up and met his. “I love it, but you’re crazy. I didn’t need all this,” she said, waving her hand around the room and chewing on her lip. He had to control himself not to grab her and bite her lip too.
He smiled as his head dipped down. He spoke as he stared up at her through the tops of his eyes. “I ordered both the steak and the chicken salad. I wasn’t sure which one you preferred.”
She smiled hesitantly as she placed her purse on the couch. He could sense her possible uncertainty. “There’s no pressure or anything,” he continued. “I just wanted to do something nice for you. I’m happy to be in the same room with you. I don’t want you to think I have any expectations about tonight. I will wait as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable with this,” he said as he pointed back and forth between them. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Madi turned her head and studied him briefly before a smile crept across her face. “Ask me again,” she said.
His head turned to the side as he pondered her words. “Ask you what again?”
“Ask me if I want the steak or the chicken salad.”
He smiled as he slowly stepped toward her. He focused his eyes on her mouth before raising them to meet her eyes. He could hear her sharp intake of breath and it made him smirk. He ran his tongue over his lips as he asked, “Do you want the chicken salad… or the steak?”
Madi reached up and traced his bottom lip with her finger, causing his breath to catch. “I’ve wanted the steak for a really long time. If you’re offering, I’ll definitely have the steak.”
Jake smiled as he opened his mouth to speak, but Madi’s hand trailed over his chin and down his neck, then to his chest, and he stopped himself, seeing something change in her eyes.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” she said with a sudden sadness in her voice.
Jake felt his heart ache at her words. “I know. I’m so sorry for everything I said and did. It seems you may have suddenly remembered just how much I’ve put you through. If you’re having second thoughts about me, I completely understand.”
Madi’s eyes jumped to meet his as she spoke, “I have zero second thoughts about you or us. I just feel like I’m dreaming.”
“You mean having a nightmare?” Jake’s hand plowed through his thick hair as he furrowed his brows.
She touched the button on his shirt. “Being with you could never be a nightmare.”
“I know I’ve been difficult, to say the least, but I swear to you that I will do anything and everything to show you how sorry I am for all those months that I pushed you away. Leaving me was probably one of the best things you could have ever done.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, suddenly surprised.
“That morning when I woke up after making love to you, I was prepared to tell you how much I loved you and wanted to be with you, but I’m not sure that I wouldn’t have pushed you away again.”
Madi tilted her head and got that look he knew too well—the one that told him she was trying to figure him out.
“What I mean is that it wasn’t until after Ang pointed things out that I realized that I was letting my past get in our way. Before Germany, I was convinced that pushing you away and going on with our separate lives would be best for us both. Then I spent two weeks of torture, not being near you. I honestly didn’t know how to breathe. I went through the motions of my life, but it was obvious to me and everyone else around me that I was a disaster. If I was a mess before you, then I knew for sure I would never function again without you. I can’t promise you that being with me will be easy. I can’t promise you that I won’t be an ass. I can’t promise you that I won’t ever hurt you, but I can promise you that I’ll never want to.”
