Nicola was shoved away from me harshly when finally, his gun was away.I closed my legs and whimpered in pain as I curl away from him again, however he did not stop there.I heard him chuckle when he scooted himself closer to me again.His hands traveled to my face again before the other one grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head down so I was facing him.
"What was that Ariana?"He growled as he caresses my face with this tip of his gun, "What did I tell you about refusal?Did I not teach you well or did you notlistenat all?"
My lips quivered as I look at him with a terrified expression, my stomach swivels as I gulp down the growing fear.Even if I wanted to, I couldneverstand up to him.
"I-I'm sorry."I whispered as I close my eyes, "Nicola...please...please let go of...me."I whimpered.Though I always managed to keep my tears at bay whenever Nicola abused me like this, today my tears somehow managed to escape from my eyes because like I said before, I couldn't take it anymore.My skin crawled every time he touched me and my body ached every time he used it, he made me feel like I was worth nothing.
"That was not an answer to my question," he whispered when he moved closer with his face and rubbed the tip of his nose on my cheek.He then reached the crook of my neck with his face and inhaled my smell."which clearly indicates that youdo notlisten to a word I fucking say."He suddenly grasped onto my neck and growled, my hand traveled to his hand and clawed it as I try to fight him off me but to no avail.I gasped when his grip grew tight by the second and I began to choke."And you know that everything comes with a price.You better start listening to medetka, or I'll fuck you to your death."He spat before he let go and then pushed me down on the bed.
"Nicola, p-please...d-don't do anything."I pleaded as I held his hand and try to push myself up but he only gripped my shoulders again and slammed me into the mattress.He brought his knee to my stomach and pressed it until I was unable to get up, all I did was groan in agony.I began to sob at this point because this was the worst Nicola has ever done before he went onto actually ruin me.Nicola didn't care, he just wanted everything his way which is why my hopes all were crashed when I saw the rage just running past his eyes.
"Detka,why do you provoke me then?Why don't you just open your God damn ears and just listen to me!You only do this to yourself; if you don't listen that I have to do something about it."He responded as he wiped a tear away, but I flinched away from his touch."Why do you do this to me,lyubit?You know how much I hate it when I make you cry like this."He whispered while he began to lift my shirt up and place revolting kisses on my neck, onto my chest and then to my stomach.
I sobbed as I stare up at the ceiling, slowly feeling myself crippling away.This was a constant reminder of what I was worth; Nicola's whore.Nicola's bitch.Nicola'swife.I didn't want this at all, as much as I would protect, kick, fight...Nicola will be deaf to them.He would go on toruinme, use me until I was unable to give him what he wants.
"Nicola please..."I whispered as he went lower and lower.My heart dropped to my stomach when he reached my trousers and finally, he pulled them down."I'll come downstairs with you to eat, please let me go."I closed my eyes again as panic flooded me while I pleaded with him, all my tears had fallen out and my chest hurt from crying.My throat closed up when he carried on with the abuse, I couldn't do this anymore.
I couldn't do this anymore.
As I was pleading with him, he did not hear a single thing I said so I began to fight.I lifted my leg up and began to kick him off me but before I can get out of his hold, both his hands gripped my leg as he reached my face.He then straddles my hips before his hands curled around my neck, however he did not apply pressure to it.My shoulders curl up when I watch him in horror, my stomach dropped when raged filled his face once again.
"If you ever disrespect me like that, I will destroy you."He leaned closer and growled, "I'm going to fuck you and you're going to take this like a goodsuka.Now shut the fuck up and give yourself to me instead of fighting like a damn child!"
***
ISIT IN THE BATH ASI scrub my body until it burned, I had to wipe every trace of him on my skin and I was willing to go to any lengths just to do that.I'm fact, I was ready to go to any extend to leave this place, leave Nicola which shouldn't be the case now because I really shouldn't have listened to my father years ago in the first place.My heart thudded against my chest when my hands stopped their rapid actions because I saw blood just spreading everywhere.I stare at my burned skin and shiver as I remembered the day when Nicola was introduced to me.
Dad played me like a violin, and I was a fool to fall for it again.
When Alessandro died, it broke me.I was on the floor for months — empty, numb, easy to control.That’s when Dad really took over.Every day after that was his to dictate, and I was too weak to fight it.
Exactly a year after Alessandro was gone, I met Nicola.At first, I thought maybe fate was throwing me a lifeline.He was sweet — too sweet.He said all the right things, acted like he understood me.When I cried over Alessandro, he held me.When I blamed myself, he said he’d wait for me.
And then, one day, he didn’t wait.
That day, he forced himself on me.He left me on the bed, motionless, staring at the ceiling while he walked away — proud of what he’d done.He’d taken something from me and smiled about it.I couldn’t believe it at first.The man who’d been kind to me, who’d said he loved me, raped me.
After that, I saw him for who he really was.
The air hit my skin cold and sharp.I looked down and saw the bruises — purple and yellow, scattered like a map of everything he’d done to me.Every mark had a memory.I clenched my jaw and shut my eyes, trying to block it all out, but Alessandro’s face came rushing back.His smile, his laugh, the way he used to hold me like I was something worth protecting.
I missed him.God, I missed him.
The memories tore at me until I started crying without a sound.I hugged myself, shaking.Every time I remembered leaving him there — lifeless on that floor — it felt like my chest caved in.I never got to bury him.Never got to say goodbye.There’s no grave to visit, no place to talk to him.Just that image of him cold and gone.
The last time I saw him alive was over lunch.I told him I wanted forever with him.He told me he wanted to kiss me until we forgot the world.Five years later, those words still echo in my head.
Without him, I’m nothing.Just pieces.
Now there’s only Nicola — my fiancé.My permanent prison.
I still remember my father’s voice that day, proud like he’d done me a favor.“You’re marrying the man of your dreams,” he said.But when I saw Nicola, I saw the truth — I wasn’t marrying a man.I was marrying a monster.A rapist.A nightmare I couldn’t wake from.
Since then, he’s run my life.Every choice I make goes through him.He tells me what to wear, when to eat, how to breathe.And I do it, because not doing it means pain.
My father doesn’t see any of it.Or maybe he just doesn’t care.To him, Nicola is perfect — strong, respected, powerful.Everything my father isn’t.The ideal son-in-law, the heir to his mafia empire.He can’t see the blood under Nicola’s hands, or the bruises under my clothes.
I finished washing up, scrubbing my skin until it burned, trying to erase the past and failing like always.
