“Oh yes,” Nathaniel replied quickly, smiling, trying to cover up his nervous, guilty thoughts. “Just thinking about Emily and hoping she’s having a good time.”
“She is, Nathaniel. You and your mother did a perfect job.” Thomas smiled at him, and Nathaniel felt a little better.
He would have to think about his next steps, if he was going to take any at all. Would he come out on the other side of it all and be able to look at himself in the mirror or not?
That evening, it took a while for Jane to get to sleep, but once she did, she could see Lord Nathaniel Balwood’s handsome features. It was as if he was really there in the room with her. It was a dream, but it was the most vivid dream she’d ever experienced. She could feel the hairs lifting on her arms and a sweat coming out over her skin.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Lord Balwood said, reaching for her hand and drawing it to his lips.
Her muscles weakened, and his kiss on her hand felt like fire. “I wonder if you might let me kiss you,” he told her, and she nodded, still unable to utter any words.
With a handsome, rakish smile, Lord Balwood leaned forward and kissed her. Jane could feel all the warm softness of his lips against hers. It was everything she had ever dreamed a kiss could be, both hot and sweet at the same time. His kiss made her melt into his arms, and every nerve tingled at the touch of his tongue against her own. If this was a kiss, it felt wicked and wonderful at the same time.
Emboldened, she slid her tongue against his, tasting him, before he pulled away and kissed down her neck. Jane cried out in her sleep, feeling the heat of his mouth against her neck like a line of fire.
She arched toward him, wanting to get even closer, to touch even more when she awoke, suddenly and feverishly, breathing hard. She looked about her dark room, her heaving breath the only sound that filled the space. She pressed a hand to her chest and felt the cool layer of sweat on her skin.
What has come over me? Dreaming of men in such a way, and dreaming of a man I have only just met!
As she laid back onto her pillow, her eyes staring at the dark canopy above her bed, Jane could not get rid of her tingling skin, her heightened desire, or the ache between her thighs. For some reason, she desired this man after only one meeting, and she wanted him like none other.
But this is not wise. I cannot want someone like this.
It took away her sense and balance. When he was near, she could barely focus, throwing away all propriety, nearly kissing him on the balcony and then nearly melting into the floor as they danced.
She needed to be logical and sensible. That was what she was, and yet, this yearning did not leave her. She closed her eyes and sighed, begging for sleep. Perhaps once the sun rose, she would feel better, and she would have a clearer idea of what to do next.
Chapter 8
At breakfast, Jane hoped that her Aunt Sarah would not be too chatty about her and Lord Balwood dancing at the ball. Thankfully, she’d been too tired on the carriage ride home from the ball last evening that she had not said much.
But Jane knew that after an evening’s rest, she would likely be chattering away about all kinds of things that happened the night before. With a little reluctance, Jane pushed open the door to the breakfast room and found her aunt and uncle already sitting at the table.
“Well, you’ve deigned to join us, Jane,” her aunt said pleasantly, and her uncle chuckled.
“It is only the beginning of the Season, Sarah. She will get used to it. We are old hands at this kind of thing.”
“That is certainly true, Hamish,” her Aunt Sarah said, patting his hand while Jane went to the sideboard to collect her food.
When she sat down, she barely had time to pour herself a cup of tea before her aunt asked, “Well, how did you enjoy your evening? I noticed that you had many dance partners for which I am very proud of you. But most of all, I saw that you danced withLord Balwood. You made a very striking couple on the dance floor, Jane.”
Jane looked up from buttering her toast with dread, and seeing her Aunt Sara’s eager expression made it all the worse.
“Yes, he was very kind and interesting,” she said trying to stay away from anything that resembled desire or lust.
Or dreams that make you wake up in a sweat.
She returned her eyes to her work, hoping that hid her blush well enough.
“Excellent. You did very well, Jane. I know it was difficult on your first Season, on your first event, with all that everyone knows about you. But you seemed to be enjoying yourself.” Her Aunt Sarah tapped her finger at her chin, and Jane knew that she had only begun her scheming. “It would not be amiss to say that Lord Balwood is a very eligible man.”
Jane opened her mouth to stop her aunt before she got started, but the door swung open, and the butler stood in the doorway.
“Your Lordship, there is a man here to see you, to see you all. It is Lord Claridge.”
Jane dropped the butter knife in her hand, and it made a sound against the plate. For a few seconds, she believed her father had come to call, for he was the only one she’d known as Lord Claridge. But of course, that was not possible. And after her Uncle Hamish asked for him to be sent in, and he appeared in the doorway, she recognized him as Edward, her father’s nephew, and heir to the earldom.
“Welcome, My Lord,” her uncle said, rising from his seat and going to shake Edward's hand.
