“Your sister and mother must be very lucky to have you.” Swallowing again, she managed to say, “I hope you are enjoying yourself. I am sorry to hear that your father is so ill.
“Ah, that,” he said, turning up to look at the stars again and leaning his hands back on the balustrade.
That brought his arm only closer to her, and she wondered if he noticed it just as much as she did.
“You are kind, Jane. I am enjoying myself, especially now that you are here and the both of us can look into the heavens.” She didn't say anything for a minute or so, but she enjoyed glancing at his profile now and again as he studied the stars above.
“Are you thinking of your grandfather?” she asked, eager to change the subject away from sick fathers or lustful dreams.
“Yes, I always do. In these moments with the stars, you must be thinking of your mother as well.”
“Yes.” Jane smiled, looking up again, and then she pointed. “There is Hydra. It is one of my favorite constellations and my mother's as well. It makes me think of faraway lands, dangers, adventures.”
She was smiling widely now, and when she turned to look at him again to see his response, his lips had parted slightly, and he leaned forward slowly. Taking her face in his hands, he kissed her.
Chapter 23
Jane hadn't known what to expect when she was kissed, even though she'd thought about kissing Nathaniel for what felt like days upon days. She hadn't been able to focus on her daily study because her mind was full of him from one moment to the next.But it was not what she expected when his warm, soft lips met hers, his hands gently cradling her face. It was much, much better.
With a little exhalation of pleasure, Jane leaned forward into him, turning her body to face his. Even if this was not her dreams, she could pretend for a little while. His hands moved to her waist, and he turned his head to deepen the kiss. Jane moaned as his tongue slipped between her lips to touch tentatively against her own. Lifting her arms up around his shoulders, she opened her mouth, and his tongue plunged into hers, exploring, tasting, teasing.
Her nipples became hard points as she pressed her body to his. When his hips moved forward, ever so slightly, she could feel the hardness there. It might have scared her in the past, but now, it only excited her, and she pulled him tighter, feeling liquid rush to the place between her thighs.
But when the sound of footsteps filtered through her lust-filled mind, she pulled away with a gasp, turning away and leaning back against the balustrade once more, hoping that motion had done enough to put some distance between them.
She waited with bated breath to see who was coming. Even if that kiss had been exactly what she wanted from him, she certainly did not want to force Nathaniel’s hand. She was not that sort of woman.
She didn't even glance his way before a nervous Iris appeared, stepping between the plants, and jolting a little when she saw Nathaniel and Jane. Jane's cheeks heated, and she wanted to slip away and melt into the floor.
Even if they weren't actually touching, she was certain that it showed on their faces what wicked thing they had just been doing. Even without looking at her reflection, she could feel that her lips were swollen from the kiss.
“Iris,” she asked. “Is there something you need?”
“Forgive me, Jane, but your aunt is asking after you. She wanted to make sure you were well.”
“How kind,” she said. “I will join you in just a second.”
Iris nodded, but rightfully she did not move from her place, and Jane turned to Nathaniel at long last. Even though Iris stood right there, Nathaniel was still looking at her the way he had right before he’d kissed her. If Iris was to disappear behind a plant for just a few seconds, Jane wondered if Nathaniel would pull her to him again.
“Until later, Lord Balwood,” she said with a curtsy, tearing herself away from that gaze.
That gaze gets us both into trouble.
“Of course, Lady Jane,” he replied, and then she rushed off with hardly another glance back at him.
Before she had needed the solitariness of the conservatory but returning to the throng of the ballroom felt good as well. She could simply become one of many and hide from her embarrassment as well as the desire which was still rushing through her veins like fire.
***
Nathaniel listened to the ladies’ footsteps die out as he stayed where he was. His entire body felt like it was on fire, and he was glad to be out of the heated ballroom. He certainly did not need any more heat going to his body, especially not certain parts of his body.
During that kiss, he had already hardened mostly, but he was grateful to the young lady’s maid that she'd come when she had. He might have lifted Jane onto the balustrade, slid up her skirts and plunged his length into her softness until they were both crying out in pleasure.
This desire he felt for Jane was unlike anything he’d ever experienced, and he feared it just as much as he relished it.He feared too that he had scared Jane away, but then he remembered the way she’d kissed him back, her tongue learning to stroke his, her breasts pressing against him as her hands pulled him closer.
No, she had kissed him like she wanted him to, but he was still a gentleman, and he should have trodden a bit more carefully. He was also the more experienced of the two, especially in the ways of desire. He cared for Jane deeply, and he didn't wish to hurt her or overwhelm her with just how much he wanted her.
That thought only made the guilt fall heavily upon his shoulders again. He cursed himself as well as his father for getting them into this mess. He might have chosen any other eligible young lady with a hefty dowry to marry. That would have sorted the problem of his family, and he would not have to feel such guilt.
