“That brings me to the second thing I must tell you.” She took a deep breath. “I cannot risk even the hint of impropriety if I wish to continue helping my ladies. My most recent book will be my last, asAn Insatiable Lady, at least. And that means,” she said, though her voice shook. “Our lessons are at an end. You have most definitely earned a first, and whatever lady ends up with you owes me a great deal though she will never know it. Everything that has happened was because of my friends trying to keep my secrets. The ladies could have died or been shipped off to God knows where. Alice could have been killed or worse. I must—”
“I’ll sell the bookshop. My partner will buy me out. There are several of Chelmsford estates I can manage. We could live on one of them and arrange for your ladies to live in cottages on the estate. I will—”
“I cannot allow you to do that, Daedalus. Your bookshop is your freedom. You have worked too hard and too long to give it up now.” Every word tore like a hook in her flesh. They’d never talked of love or marriage, and here he was ready to sell off his entire life to keep her.
“Marry me, Cordelia. I will do anything to have you as my wife.” He took her hand in both of his and raised it to his lips. “Anything.”
“I know,” she said. “Which is why I cannot ask that of you. We both have work that is a part of us. If we were to give it up, we would be offering each other only part of who we are. I won’t do that to you. And I cannot do that to myself.”
“I see.” He held her hand in his all the way to London. When they turned into the mews lane behind Lady Camilla’s, he handed her out of the carriage. “We have been commanded to attend Lady Camilla’s card party tomorrow evening. I suppose I shall see you there.”
“Yes,” she whispered.
He dug his hands into his pockets and walked into the mews lane, headed in the direction of Holywell Street.
“What about supper?” she called after him, her eyes blurred with tears.
“I find I am not hungry,” he called back. “Good night, Miss Perriton.”
Cordelia stood there in the dark for a very long time. By the time she went into the house her supper was cold. As was the bed in the chamber Lady Camilla’s footman led her to, although a cozy fire burned in the grate. As she slept, she dreamed of the years stretching out before her of cold beds and an empty heart.
* * *
Daedalus stoodin the corner of Lady Camilla’s sumptuous green drawing room and sipped at the same drink he’d been holding for the last hour. The same hour during which he’d done nothing else save steal glances at Cordelia as she stood and talked with Lady Honoria and the other ladies of the literary society. She wore a beautiful gold gown that made her look as if she’d stepped out of a dream. His dream. He’d been a fool to ever think she might want to spend her life with him. Despite all they’d shared, there was something more important in her life than him. Which made him the same as any othertongentleman who wanted a woman to give up her very self to be his wife and the mother of his children, nothing more.
“If you insist on standing here like some sort of recluse, the least you can do is smile every now and again. I am told ladies swoon at your smiles.” Chelmsford stood next to him and perused the select guests who had been asked to arrive early to enjoy drinks before the card party started.
“Bugger you, Percy. Why is Breadmore here?” Daedalus glared at his brother-in-law who insisted on standing next to Cordelia and interrupting the ladies’ conversation at every turn.
“You could say he is the guest of honor,” Chelmsford mused. “Did you ask Miss Perriton to marry you?”
“Is it true that you have moved Alice into your home—foot, horse, and guns, not to mention an ungodly number of hats and very ugly frocks?”
“Yes. Now answer my question.”
“Yes. She turned me down, even when I offered to sell the shop. What did Breadmore say about you taking Alice under your wing?”
“He could care less, but when I’m finished with him, he may wish he had her back. “I’m sorry, but you need to ask Miss Perriton again. I will not be satisfied until I have her for a sister-in-law.”
“What? Why?”
“Breadmore is about to receive his comeuppance. And any woman for whom you would give up that damned shop must be worth having in our family. Ask her again. Youdidtell her you love her, didn’t you?”
Daedalus stared at him from behind his spectacles and frowned. “This is the longest conversation we’ve had in five years, and also the strangest. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?”
“Ah!” Chelmsford nodded in the direction of the double doors where Lady Camilla had made her entrance on the arms of Carrington-Bowles and Nathaniel Charpentier. “The games are about to commence. It seems I must do everything in this family. Come along, Daedalus. Let me get you properly betrothed so I can stop worrying about you.”
Daedalus found himself being dragged by the sleeve of his elegant black evening jacket to the front of the room where Lady Camilla joined them. Oddly enough, footmen had been stationed at every closed door. He took a quick inventory of the room. Breadmore and Alice were there, though Alice had moved to stand near Cordelia’s three brothers, one of whom Daedalus had never seen before, a pale nervous fellow who seemed deep in conversation with Alice.
Captain Atherton and Lady Honoria were there, of course. As was Archer Colwyn and his betrothed Charlotte Smythe. The barrister, Stephen Forsythe, had also put in an appearance with his beautiful wife, Lady Jane. Oddly enough, no one else was there save for himself and Cordelia who glanced at him and smiled. She was gorgeous, of course, but she appeared a bit pale and nearly as unhappy as himself.
“As it appears we are all here, I suggest we begin,” Chelmsford announced.
Daedalus darted a look at Cordelia who seemed just as puzzled as he was, if her expression was any indication.
The duke pulled a letter from the inside pocket of his very expensive evening jacket. “I have a letter here which my brother graciously shared with me yesterday. My niece has read the contents, though my brother-in-law, the Earl of Breadmore has not. I ask that he read it now.”
Daedalus watched in horrified fascination as his sister’s husband read her suicide note. He crumpled it up and strode to the hearth to cast is into the fire.
