I groan and squeeze my eyes shut. “I don’t know what to do. I’ve only ever had soccer, and that’s all I’ve everwanted.”
“But…” she encourages, her tone void of judgment.
“But I really like it here,” I admit, swallowing hard, “and it’s not just Jensen and Remi. His mom was talking about making birthday cakes andit’s okay to redefine successand I love the girls at the university and Kins, they’reexcited—do you remember? That feeling when you step out onto the field and it’s like you can breathe because it just makes sense?”
“Yes.” Her response is barely audible.
“These girls have it—they’re excited and motivated and it’s like I’m living it again. I could teach them, you know? Some aregood enough to go into the league, but some are just filling their time and I love that too.”
“Oh, Ness.” Kinsley’s voice is full of emotion and I can imagine her fanning her face to keep the tears from falling. “It’s been so long since you sounded likeyou.”
A shuddery exhale leaves my body like I’m expelling the weight of the world.
Because she’s right.
I’d been so happy my first two years in the league. I was new and full of determination and grit. I wanted to prove myself—to be the best damn sweeper the team had ever seen.
And I’d done that and more.
But like anything else, it was no longer justthe game.I love the game and it’s a part of me, but this level takes so much from you. It takes your freedom and it takes your joy if you let it.
And I let it.
I’d let the media paint me as someone I barely recognized. I’d let myself become indifferent—showing them only who I wanted them to see. My relationships were shallow at best, and even though I loved my coaches and my team, it was nothing like the love and happiness I’d found in Blackstone Falls.
“Ness?”
“Yeah?” I manage as tears roll silently down my cheeks.
“You should stay.” She clears her throat as the words settle between us. “I’m going to miss you like hell, but you only have this year left on your contract, right?”
“Yeah, my agent was negotiating before everything happened with Scarlett and Remi. She sent over the contact and it’s amazing.”
“Have you talked to Jensen about what you’re feeling?”
“This is the first time I’ve even had feelings, Kins,” I joke. “I had to ask you what they were.”
She snorts. “Well, it sounds like deep down you already knew what you wanted to do. You just needed to hear it from someone else.”
“Not someone else, Kins. Just you.”
“I’m sorry you’ve been struggling with this.”
“Well, youhavebeen busy.” I snicker and she laughs.
“It’s absurd how good he is with his tongue.” She sighs dreamily, and I nod even though she can’t see me because I can relate.
“Thank you for talking with me,” I say, swallowing another wave of emotion, “and for making this be okay for me.”
“Always. What are you gonna do now?”
“Talk to Jensen—see where he stands.”
“If he’s as amazing as you say he is, he’s not going to flinch when you tell him about the accident. If he loves you, it’s not going to matter.”
“I’ve never told anyone. Not like this.”
“I know. But even if you haven’t admitted it to yourself, you love him and you’re going to retire from your professional soccer career to make a family with him and coach at the university. You’ve fallen in love with a man and his daughter, a little girl who had you wrapped around her little finger the second she was placed in your arms. You’re going to empower the young women on that team and you’re going to give them all the advantages we didn’t have so when they graduate with a piece of paper they’re going to know they can make it—that they can do anything.”
