“You were sick. That couldn’t be helped.”
Dottie nods. “Jensen had seen Indie’s disappointment and mine, and even though he’d never baked a cake, he tried hisdamndest. And it’s one of the most memorable celebrations we’ve ever had.”
“I don’t understand; why are you telling me this?”
“Sometimes in life we think we can shoulder all the burdens ourselves. We focus so much on the big ones that we often forget about the little ones, the ones that seem insignificant on their own but together can come toppling down when you least expect it.”
“Dottie…”
Holding up her hands, she says, “No one ever said I wasn’t long-winded, but I do have a point.” Smiling, I wait for her to continue. “I could have let myself wallow over ruinin’ my daughter’s birthday. I could have let that memory be something that hurt my heart instead of the beautiful celebration it turned out to be. Indie was thrilled, and Wayne and Sawyer took her to get a new dress while Jensen cleaned up and set the table. We redefined what success meant to us.”
“Lopsided cakes and time spent together.”
“And not just that year but many years after.” She pauses, a wry grin on her lips. “Jensen’s decorating never quite improved but it was always delicious.” Reaching over, she places her hand on mine. “You’re allowed to redefine what success means to you. And to give yourself permission to celebrate the things that bring you joy.”
She made it sound so easy, like changing the trajectory of my life wouldn’t waste nearly two decades of blood, sweat, and tears for a game that still owned a huge piece of my heart.
“Thank you for sharing that with me,” I say quietly, her words and the image of a young Jensen covered in flour and icing playing out like a movie in my head.
“Of course, darlin’.” Pausing, she adds, “I don’t want to overstep, but it looks like you could use a hug.”
And like everything else that Blackstone Falls has changed for me, I nod. “That would be really nice.”
The Nessa that lived in Nashville and lived in the public eye didn’t need hugs or pep talks about cakes and underlying happiness. But that woman wasn’t the same one standing in this kitchen wrapped in Dottie Kade’s arms.
And I’m starting to like this one better.
41
NESSA
AGENT: Why haven’t you gotten back to me?
AGENT: Did you see what the Tornadoes are offering? It’s everything we asked for! Even those little add-ons you kept texting me in the eleventh hour
NESSA: How long do I have to decide?
AGENT: Your contract is up after this season and they want to have it finalized before preseason is over
AGENT: Did you miss the part where I said it’s everything we asked for?
NESSA: I heard you I just need to think about it
Tossing my phone into my purse, I take a steadying breath and clasp my hands in my lap to stop them from shaking. I know there’s going to be a slew of messages waiting for me, but I can’t think about it now.
This is everything I’ve wanted—everything I’ve worked so hard for.
The mantra repeats over and over in my head, morphing from my voice to my father’s. I shouldn’t have this much doubt; I’m at the top of my game and my career is everything I’ve dreamed of.
Dreams change.
Not this much.
Pushing out of the car, I jump when I hear the car door next to me slam shut as Lana carries a tray of something toward me.
“Are you all right?” she asks and I nod.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
