* * *
I’ve started to wonder if I’ll see her again, but a couple of days later she surprises me. When I step out on to my terrace with a mug of coffee, Callie’s already hard at work, the wheelbarrow piled high with weeds.
‘Morning,’ I call out. ‘Can I get you some tea?’
‘Thanks.’ She carries on with what she’s doing.
‘I didn’t expect to see you,’ I tell her, when I take her tea over to her, ‘after what you said the other day.’
Her cheeks flush slightly. ‘I thought about it. The thing is I told you I’d help you – and I don’t like going back on my word. Hopefully it won’t be long before it’s manageable enough for you to take over.’
‘You really don’t have to do this,’ I say. ‘I could always find someone else to help.’
She freezes momentarily. ‘If that’s what you want.’
‘Not especially.’ I’m taken aback. ‘I like you being here. But as long as you know I appreciate you doing this.’ With this conversation going nowhere, I change the subject. ‘How is your dad?’
She looks at me properly. ‘He’s doing OK, actually. The hospital is happy with him. He’s just going to have to watch his diet, and exercise more than he used to. But it could have been much worse.’
‘Yes.’ But I’m not giving up on her. ‘I wish you’d let me buy you dinner – to say thank you.’
Her eyes are wistful. ‘I had it all planned out what I wanted to say to you. It’s true what I said the other day. I like you.’ As she steps closer, the strangest feeling comes over me. ‘But then the other day, when I came here, I saw you.’
I frown at her. ‘What do you mean?’
She glances up at the window. ‘The girl who was here? Who you had your arms around?’
Breathing a sigh of relief, at last I understand. ‘That wasn’t what you thought it was. My sister came over.’ I watch surprise flicker across her face. ‘I’d had some good news and she was happy for me.’ I shrug. ‘That’s all it was, I promise you. And that really isn’t the kind of thing I’d do to someone I like.’
Instead of laughing it off, she’s silent. ‘When I saw her, I just felt so horrible. I mean, it’s crazy – I hardly know you. But spending time with you has felt like such a huge step for me. So has letting myself like you – and then, I thought I’d read you wrong. I’ve had too much pain in my life to go through any more.’ She bites her lip. ‘I suppose I came around to thinking it would probably be best if we were just friends.’
It clearly makes sense in Callie’s mind. But hearing her tell me she likes me, yet we can’t be any more than friends, is tying my brain in knots.
I gaze at her. ‘Don’t you think some things are worth taking a risk on?’
‘Of course.’ She’s quiet again. ‘I suppose I might as well say it like it is.’ She pauses. ‘The thing is, it would be nice – for a while, but at some point, we’d have to go through the awfulness of breaking up – because in the end, that’s what happens to everyone.’ She shrugs. ‘It’s painful.’
I’ve never heard such a negative assessment of relationships. ‘Not necessarily. We might turn out to be the love of each other’s lives…’ As I watch her face, too late I realise how crass I’ve been; that she’s already met the love of her life, and lost him. ‘I’m so sorry, Callie. I know what Liam meant to you. I didn’t mean that to come out the way it did.’
She shrugs again. ‘It’s fine.’
But from the look on her face, I can see it’s far from fine.
‘I really didn’t mean to upset you. Can’t we just backtrack a bit? Like you said – be friends?’
She hesitates. ‘OK.’
Finishing her tea, she turns back to the garden as I go inside. But as I sit at my desk and started working, I’m thinking of Callie. In truth, I want us to be more than just friends, and in her heart, I suspect she feels the same. I sigh loudly, wondering how this has become so complicated.
When she’s finished, instead of leaving without saying goodbye as she usually does, she comes to the door.
‘You said you wanted to talk about the campsite? I have a few minutes now if you’re not busy.’ She’s less troubled than earlier.
‘OK.’ This is the last thing I’ve been expecting. ‘Come in. I’ll go and get my laptop.’
Going over to the sink, she washes her hands. ‘Do you have anything cold to drink?’
‘In the fridge,’ I call out. ‘Help yourself.’
