I shake my head. ‘I’m not hungry.’ My mind is racing. Matt might go there anyway, before the press release goes out, in which case the police would miss him. Suddenly I’m furious, that they’re even taking the chance. ‘We have to go there. Now. If we park the car on the main road, then take the back way across the fields into the garden, if he’s watching the front, he won’t see us.’
Forgetting about breakfast, we hurry back to her car. As she unlocks it, Cath frowns. ‘You’re sure you want to do this?’
I have a feeling in my bones I can’t ignore. ‘I have to. What’she going to do? There are two of us. If he’s there, we call the police.’
As we drive to Steyning, my certainty grows that my hunch is right and at long last, we’re on to him. After parking away from the house, I lead Cath the back way across a sheep field, then over the far end of the wall into the back garden. Making our way towards the house, when we reach the sliding doors, instead of locked, they’re cracked open.
Startled, I turn to Cath. ‘Someone’s in there.’
Her eyes are wide with shock. ‘You think it’s him?’
Nodding, I tiptoe closer. ‘Call the police,’ I whisper.
While she gets out her phone, I carefully slide the doors open enough to let me slip through.
Turning, I glance at Cath shaking her head, mouthing at me, ‘No, Jess … don’t go in…’
But I ignore her. Without giving it a second thought, very slowly, without making a sound, I creep through the kitchen, where I hear a noise coming from one of the bedrooms. My heart thudding, I make my way up the stairs. Then in the doorway of my mother’s room, I stop.
I watch for a moment, then find my voice. ‘Looking for something?’
Across the room, Matt freezes, then turns to me, a look of hatred on his face. I should be terrified, but knowing what he’s done, thinking of my mother charged with his murder, I find a strength I didn’t know I had. Incensed by his arrogance, that he thinks he can intimidate me, thinking of his twisted mind games, my fear is gone. ‘You can’t honestly believe you’ll get away with this. You’re scum, Matt. A despicable human being. You know it and I know it, and soon the whole world will know it.’ My voice is trembling, not from fear, but from anger at what he’s done to my mother, furious at everything he’sdone to me; and who knows who else along the way. ‘You have no right to fuck up other people’s lives.’
He starts to laugh, a cynical, cruel sound. ‘You should tell that to your mother and her friend. They didn’t care about anyone other than themselves. Two selfish teenagers, wrecking all those lives … And all this time, they’ve got away with it.’
I shake my head. ‘You’ve got this so wrong. My mother is innocent.’
‘Keeping their secret all these years? I’d hardly call that innocent.’ He laughs again. ‘They’re both guilty, but quite honestly, I don’t care what happens to either of them.’
I watch him feel inside the wardrobe. ‘By the way, you won’t find anything. The painting’s smashed.’ I watch rage flicker in his eyes. ‘It’s outside. I’ve thrown it away.’ It’s deliberately inflammatory, but I’m past caring. I want to hurt him as much as he’s hurt me.
For a moment he doesn’t move. Then he takes a step towards me, sneering. ‘Do you know what, sweet little Jess? I’m going to tell you about my brother and after that, I’m going to make sure you can never tell anyone you’ve seen me. If only you’d stayed away …’ His eyes narrow. ‘But maybe there’s a certain justice after Charlie dying, in you also dying far too young. That was all I ever wanted. Justice.’
Knowing he’s capable of anything, I’m terrified. Out of the corner of my eye, I glance towards the window, praying the police are on their way. When I look back at him, there’s a wildness in his eyes as he goes on.
‘He was about your age when he died. It ruined my parents’ lives and by default, mine, too. After he died, my poor, weak mother took her own life. She couldn’t bear to live with the pain of losing him. She gave nothought to me, her other son, growing up without his mother and his brother.’ Words filled with venom as he breaks off, shaking his head. ‘Shortly after that, my father sold his business. He’d lost all interest in living. But I haven’t told you how Charlie died, have I? Shall I tell you?’ I stare at him, horrified, knowing what he’s going to say. ‘He had a girlfriend who was everything in the world to him. A beautiful, sweet, kind girl called Kimberley. They were going to spend the rest of their lives together. They were the kind of people that you felt better off for knowing. Just being with them, you could feel their love. I don’t know what cock and bull story your mother’s spun you, but it was her and her stupid friend who killed her. Charlie couldn’t come to terms with living without her. So he hung himself. From a tree. Out there. In your garden.’ For a moment, his expression is one of extreme sadness. But then he turns to me again. ‘I hadn’t planned to come here, but then I saw that magazine piece. When I realised who your mother was, after what she did to Charlie and Kimberley, I couldn’t let it go. It ate away at me when I read about the cosy little life she’d created for herself, the business she’d built, her lovely daughter. It was too unfair.’
Looking at him, I gasp. ‘You even sent the flowers, didn’t you? Using your own blood.’ I shake my head, feeling sick. ‘How could you?’
‘I cut a vein. It wasn’t difficult. Nothing is if you want it enough.’ As his eyes turn away, one of his sleeves slips back, revealing a bandage.
Standing there, I’m shocked into silence as the final pieces fall into place, his story meshing with my mother’s as I know he’s insane. Hearing a car pull up outside, he glances towards the window.
‘You called the fucking police.’ As he turns back to look at me, his voice is loaded with venom. ‘You’ll regret this.’ Muttering under his breath, he steps close enough that I can smell his body odour, a menacing look on his face as he threatens me. ‘One day, when you’re least expecting it, I swear I’ll find you, Jess. You’ll look around and see me there, and this time, there won’t be any police to come to your rescue. You won’t be able to get away from me. Think about how it will feel, when at last I catch up with you – because I will. You haven’t heard the last of this.’
In that moment, my terror knows new heights. Knowing he’s going down, he’s left me with something I can never forget. Fear – that if he ever gets out of prison, he’s going to look for me; that wherever I go, I’ll never be safe. Rooted to the spot, I hear the police coming up the stairs. Then from behind me, comes PC Page’s voice.
‘Matthew Roche, I am arresting you on suspicion of perverting the course of justice. You do not have to say anything. But, it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence.’
As she finishes speaking, two more officers walk over to Matt, as she glances towards me. ‘Are you OK, Jess?’
I shake my head, watching as they handcuff him, then lead him downstairs, a look of pure malevolence on his face. Then as the police escort him outside and into a car, PC Page turns to me. ‘I can’t stop now, but I’ll call you shortly about your mother.’ As she walks away, Cath puts her arms around me.
‘I heard what you said to him just now … I wanted to applaud. You’re strong and brave. I’m so proud of you, Jess. And you were right. He’s despicable.’
My legs weak, I sit on the bed, feeling my body start to shake. ‘He threatened me, Cath. He said that one day, when I’m least expecting it, he’ll find me. He means it.’ I look at her, filled with panic. ‘He’ll do it, in the same way he planned everything with my mother.’
‘Jess … He won’t get away with it. We’ll tell the police. They’ll add it to their list of charges against him. Come on. I’m taking you back to Zoe’s.’
