While previously there’d been certainty, increasingly I was becoming paranoid, as I scrolled through his photos, not knowing what to think, questioning everything. They were the same photos I’d seen before – mostly selfies of Matt, a few of him with other people, with one or two messages about their wedding as it hit me how ridiculous this was. If he wasn’t getting married, God only knew why he hadn’t told Amy bynow. The whole thing was insane. Suddenly nauseous, I’d hurried to the bathroom just in time before being violently sick.
*
I slept fitfully that night, on alert for a call or message from Matt – or even the police; my emotions like a pendulum, swinging back and forth between hope and fear. Still nauseous the next morning, I skipped breakfast. Under pressure, my imagination was in overdrive. On the way to work, I passed a man the same height as Matt on the other side of the road. His hair a similar colour, he had Matt’s way of walking. Even his coat was familiar. For a moment my heart hammered, until he turned and I saw a profile that was nothing like Matt’s.
Trying to pull myself together, the more I thought about it, the more obvious it was – Amy was key in this. From everything Matt had told me, it was clear her problems had escalated. Maybe even to the point where she’d attacked him.
Chapter Twenty
It hadn’t taken long before the police were back in touch – namely PC Page, who from the start, seemed unnaturally preoccupied with the case. Or maybe she was more conscientious than most of the police I’d dealt with. When she came round to see me, she’d got straight to the point.
‘We’ve spoken to David Avery, Matt’s employer. He’s shared a list of dates when Matt wasn’t at work, which his fiancée seems unaware of, so obviously …’
‘You wondered if they were days he spent with me?’ My voice cool, I appraised the list of dates she passed me, astonished at how each was imprinted on my mind. A lunch that went on forever, a day in Hastings, the first time he came back to my flat – and other times since. After checking my diary, I looked up at her. ‘You’re right.’
‘All of them?’
I checked the list again, then frowned. ‘There’s one date he wasn’t with me. I was in court that day.’ Another memory indelibly etched. It was one of the rare cases I’d lost.
She frowned. ‘You’re sure?’
I nodded. ‘Absolutely. Why?’
She shook her head. ‘A hunch. It seems Matthew Roche has a history of infidelity.’ She paused briefly. ‘Look, there’s no easy way to ask this, so I’ll come right out with it. How sure are you that Matt wasn’t seeing anyone else?’
‘A third woman?’ I was incredulous. It hadn’t crossed my mind. ‘You’re suggesting he might have been cheating on me, too?’
‘Is it so implausible? He’s clearly very skilled at deceiving people – women. The way Ms Reid talks about him, she paints a picture of a couple very much in love, certainly not a man who’s having an affair.’
Suddenly I felt hot. ‘She would, wouldn’t she? If you were her, wouldn’t you hate it being public knowledge that your world was falling apart?’
‘It’s clear there had been other women.’ She paused again, thinking. ‘Can I ask you another question?’ Her eyes bored into me. ‘How much do you know about Matt’s past?’
I shrugged. ‘He often talked about Amy. There was a lot to talk about. Before her, he was with a woman called Mandy. Before that …’ I felt a frown cross my face as I realised, there was stuff I didn’t know, but whenever we’d seen each other, caught up in the moment, there’d never seemed to be enough time. ‘We’d only just started. I suppose it takes time to get around to all these things,’ I said at last. ‘But I honestly don’t think he was hiding anything.’
‘You can’t be sure, though.’
My eyes swivelled to meet hers. It was impossible to answer, but I’d become more adept than most at reading liars. ‘Of course not. But because of my job, I’m a fairly astute judge of character and to the best of my knowledge, he was straight with me. There’s another possibility you seem to be missing.’I paused briefly. ‘Maybe Ms Reid isn’t what she makes herself out to be.’
PC Page’s frown sharpened. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Well.’ I shrugged. ‘You’re saying that Matt was adept at deceiving people – which I have to say is a side of him I’m unfamiliar with. Isn’t it equally possible that Amy – Ms Reid – is just as adept? I’m a divorce lawyer. I’ve seen people stoop to all kinds of tactics to get what they want.’ When she didn’t comment, I went on. ‘Have you considered that maybe she knew Matt was seeing me? That when he told her he was leaving, she lost it with him? Maybe she killed him – even by accident. Playing the helpless victim means everyone will think she’s the last person in the world capable of hurting him.’ Speculating, I had no way of knowing these words would come back to haunt me.
‘There’s a problem with your theory.’ PC Page’s voice was quiet. ‘And that’s proof. Because there is none. Whatever’s been going on between Amy and Matt, there’s absolutely nothing to suggest that she’s a killer.’
I hesitated. ‘The most unlikely person can have a past.’ The police needed to consider that Amy wasn’t the innocent victim she portrayed herself to be.
Her eyes were fixed me. ‘What are you suggesting?’
I held her gaze for a moment, then shrugged. ‘Nothing in particular.’
‘Right now, it’s Mr Roche we’re more concerned about.’ But as she got up, I could see her thinking about what I’d said.
After she’d left, seeds of doubt had taken root. It was impossible to know what to believe. From a lawyer’s viewpoint, both Matt and Amy were equally plausible and implausible. If it wasn’t for the fact that I knew Matt and trusted him, it would be difficult to call.
I think of another time Matt was talking about Amy. He’d never actually shown me a photo of her. Of course, I’d seen her face flash up on his phone by then, but I couldn’t tell him I’d recognised her.
I kept my voice casual. ‘I still don’t know what Amy looks like. Do you have a photo of her?’
