He falters. Looks away. “I’m only using every once in a while.”
“Every once in a while,” I repeat, voice dripping with sarcasm.
He lowers his voice to a whisper, leans in close. “I sell for him, okay? He’s my supplier. I overprice and get to keep some cash. It’s been keeping me afloat.”
I roll my eyes. “Until you couldn’t cough up the cash because you snorted it all!”
He leans in closer, voice venomous. “That’s not your fucking call to make.”
“You didn’t even thank me for giving you Grandma’s money that she gave to me, by the way!”
“THANK YOU!” The sarcasm in his voice could cut glass. “There! Happy?”
“So you’re mad at me for saving your ass?”
“No!” He’s shouting now, full volume, and I don’t care who hears. “I’m fucking mad because you come here and want to solve all my problems, but guess what, Lex!” He jabs a finger at my chest. “You’re not Mom!”
The words hit me like a slap.
I storm off. Get three steps away before I turn around and march right back.
“Fuck you!” My voice cracks. “I do all this for you to get your ass clean and you fucking yell at me! Go get some fucking help, Axel! I got him off your back, so now you have no excuse!”
“And what if I don’t? Hmm?” He tilts his head, mocking. “What if I don’t want to get clean?”
“You don’t want to find out what Koa had planned for you!” I’m in his face now, standing on my toes to get closer. “You’re lucky I swooped in to save you, but if this is how you treat me, I’ll let him off the hook. And you’ll find out the wrath I was keeping you from.”
He laughs. Actually laughs. “You think I’m scared?”
I scoff. “You still can’t even thank me, Ax? What the fuck.”
We stand in silence. The only sound is the distant hum of traffic, the rustle of wind through the alley.
Finally, I speak. My voice is quieter now. Colder. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. I’ll give you some time to think about what I’ve done to help you, and if you don’t fucking get off drugs and thank me for saving your ass, then I’m done with Koa. I’ll just drop him.”
Axel snorts. “Good. Do it.”
“And I’m so fucking serious when I say he’s going to go hard on you.”
He steps closer, getting in my space. “Don’t fucking threaten me. I can handle Koa.”
I laugh. It’s sharp, bitter. “Really? Because the other night it didn’t fucking look like it.”
His jaw clenches. “Fuck this, Lexi! I’m fucking leaving.” He starts walking away. “And stay the fuck away from Koa!”
“You’re not going to get clean?”
He turns around, throws his arms up in the air, shaking his head. “Nope! Because I LOVE DRUGS!”
Fucking asshole.
I follow close behind him as we walk back to campus. My fists are clenched so tight my nails dig into my palms. I want to scream. Want to grab him and shake him until he understands what I’m trying to do.
But he won’t listen. He never listens.
Because I’m not Mom.
And Mom’s dead.
