I don’t mean to say the last part, but I’m heated.
I’ve never said this to anyone out loud before.
Beau, of course, is smart enough to pick up on the meaning. His face is expressionless when he speaks. “You mean he uses Micah against you. That’s why you haven’t left Robin’s Tree yet. Guidry doesn’t want you to go.”
It’s a sad truth.
One, again, that I’ve never said out loud.
“He’s never outright threatened Micah to me, but the one time I was seriously considering going out to college, just for a while, he made Micah’s life a living hell.”
“Violent?”
I shake my head. “Never. That’s where Guidry shines. He doesn’t need his fists when his words work so well.”
Beau quiets at that.
My eyelids suddenly feel as heavy as two-ton trucks. “I’m sorry to drop all of this on you. It’s just— It’s just that unavoidable something that this town deals with. The thing you don’t talk about, but the second you do, it’s hard to stop. With Guidry disappearing and Micah showing up? It’s just…a lot.”
Beau shakes his head. “Sounds to me like you’re the last person who needs to be apologizing for it.” His brow draws in again. He looks more concerned than before, but I’m wary of asking.
I feel it now.
Emotionally exhausted has entered the chat of the physically exhausted.
I’m about to say as much when Beau gets to looking peculiar again. I find myself with enough energy to try and figure it out. “What are you thinking?” I outright ask. “Regretting your move to Robin’s Tree?”
Beau shakes his head. “Everyone has a weakness, and I’m worried about Guidry’s.”
I snort. “He doesn’t have any, or else someone would’ve already used them.”
Beau’s gaze shifts.
He’s harder now.
His voice too.
“Now that’s not exactly true, is it?” Beau leans forward. I think he’s going to touch me.
He doesn’t, but his words surely do resonate regardless.
“I don’t know Guidry well, but I can tell you one thing,” he says. “He has a weakness. And it’s you, Kissy.”
I shake my head. I’m angry at June again, saying Guidry is obsessed with me. “I amnothis weakness. I’m not his anything.”
Beau doesn’t apologize. “You said it yourself. You and Micah are bonded over your tragedy. But there are other bonds that go just as deep.” Beau shifts. He flinches. I don’t know where the pain is. “Saving someone can be just as powerful. It can make you feel like—well, like you’re their protector. A guardian, even when the danger is gone.”
I pick the frozen bag up off my lap. The condensation from the melting item runs down my thigh. It reminds me of the shorts I’m wearing. The ones I had to pack to get out of my own house after being attacked in my own damn kitchen.
I’m so angry.
And so tired.
I stand, shaking my head. “Guidry isnotmy protector,” I say, voice rising despite my best efforts to remain calm. “The only thing in this world he holds over me is that boy, and thesecondhe turns eighteen, we’re free and clear of this place, and Guidry is not going to stop us.”
“Kissy—” Beau stands, but I’m through.
“Thanks for letting us stay the night.” I sidestep his apologetic look, his hands outstretching a little to hold me still so he can tell me how he didn’t mean offense, but I can’t be here with him anymore. I can’t look at him. I can’t talk about the past anymore, and I definitely can’t speak to Guidry and his feelings. So I retreat. “We’ll be gone in the morning,” I finish.
