We didn’t date long.
Matter of fact, I haven’t dated much in the past several years. There was no real reason for it, as far as I could find. The women were mostly nice and funny and good. I just wasn’t ready for them. Or maybe I wouldn’t let them be ready for me.
I feel a lot right now, including Kissy’s warmth next to me.
Idoknow I haven’t met a woman like her.
Maybe that’s been my problem.
I flex my hand over the top of the quilt. I’m thinking of what to say next when Kissy bowls me over.
“I killed Louis, didn’t I?” Her eyes are cast up to the ceiling now.
Every instinct I have is telling me to lie. To avoid. To save her feelings.
And I can.
I can lie.
I’m good at it. I convinced Manny that I wanted a slice of his human trafficking ring without suspicion. I sat with him, his wife and children, and colleagues, and made good with them. There was no problem with my lying then, and even after Manny and his family died in the explosion, my lying stayed true.
I told my brothers I wanted to leave the force and find a piece of life that was quiet.
That was calm.
But the truth is different.
I wanted to get away from me.
Moving to Nowhere, Louisiana, to a ranch I have no idea how to work in a town far enough away that I could never leave it…well, that was more than a leap from Beau Montgomery and his life of pain as I figured I could get.
If I could lie to all of them, then?
Lying to a woman I basically just met should be a piece of cake.
I open my mouth. “Yeah.”
I can’t lie to Kissy Lawson.
I turn my head against the pillow to watch her nod.
In profile against a beige pillow case, she’s stunning, and I’m not even sure why. What is it about Kissy that I find so beautiful?
“Have you ever killed someone?” she asks.
Now it’s me staring up at the ceiling.
I can lie again.
I don’t though. “No, but sometimes I feel like I’ve done a lot worse.”
I hear the rustle of Kissy’s face turning to me this time.
I can’t believe I’m going to tell someone this story.
But, well, it’s Kissy I guess, and sometime along the past two weeks, she’s not just someone to me anymore.
So I start.
