The accusation blindsided me. The only person I've been with is her. No other woman, as much as I hate to admit it, makes me feel the way she feels. Even the knowledge of what she truly is, is not enough to make me not want her. We haven't slept with each other in a year and yet I never felt like having sex with anyone else. "I've never cheated."
She laughed so hard she almost choked on her wine. "And Gemma is what? A friend? As if you don't come here every weekend just to be with her."
"I have never brought anyone here. I usually come alone. And no, Gemma is not my girlfriend."
She snorted. "Sure."
"What would you need to hear for you to believe me?"
"Don't you see Carey? It doesn't matter if I believe you or not. You and I will always be at odds with each other. You don't trust me. You think I am a gold digger and a cheat. Our relationship is dead."
"Is it?" My hand went to her thigh, and she sucked in her breath as I slid my hand up to the edge of her shorts. "We can liven it up if you want?"
She stared down at my hand. I didn't remove it. She looked up at me. There was fire in her eyes. There was a passion that only I could fulfil and not some boy-toy she found at her work. I leaned closer, sure she was about to kiss me, but she then swiped my hand away. "Sex is not all there is to a relationship." She didn't sound like she believed her own words.
I retreated, leaning back into my chair and picking up my glass of wine. In some ways, she was right. If I wanted a relationship with her, rekindling it the same way we started it, through sex, would not be ideal.
"I want you." I said into the night. "That must count for something. And I am not in a relationship with Gemma. The only person I want is you."
She was silent for such a long time that I thought she wasn't going to say anything. I stared into the ocean until she said, "But you don't love me."
When I turned to face her, she was staring at the ocean, her body rigid. "Is that what you want? For me to love you?"
She shook her head, and a smile appeared on her face that quickly faltered and fell. "It took me years to learn you can never love me. And besides…"
She didn't need to finish the sentence. I knew what she wanted to say. And besides, you will never forgive me for taking money from your father and lying to you. True. But lately I've been feeling indifferent about that.
"Why did you do it?" I asked.
She scoffed. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you. The answer was in front of your face and you didn't want to see it. I think I am better off with you thinking I am a social climbing gold digger."
I sifted through my brain, trying to think of what she was referring to. I came up with nothing. And as I was mulling over what she had just said, she got up and left. I spent some more time alone as I watched the waves crashing, wondering what I was going to do to convince her. She lied to me. She also made me feel emotions I thought were long gone. I've never felt like this ever since I was a teenager. Ever since, I asked her father to change the route so she could go to school with me. Even when I was old enough and had my own car, I still used the chauffeur because I wanted to have some time with her when it would only be just the two of us. And to think I almost lost her today. That moment when I looked around the deep blue waters and couldn't see her was a moment I never want to relive again. Watching the waves crash, I realized one thing: I need her in my life and I am never letting go of her.
Thalia was getting ready to get to bed when I entered the bedroom. She was sitting on the bed as she put on lotion. The white silky nightdress she wore made me instantly hard the moment I laid eyes on her. I clenched my fists so I wouldn't march over to her, take the bottle of lotion out of her hands andapply it to her legs myself. Her eyes went to the end of the room. There was a lounger there, with a pillow and a blanket. She must have had the housekeeper bring in the lounger at some point.
"You expect me to sleep there?" I took off my shirt. She gasped, and I felt like smirking when I saw her eyes glued to my chest. She may act like she didn't want me, but her body betrayed her every time we were together.
She got up. "I could sleep there if you want."
"Now why would I do that to my wife?"She titled her head at my remark. I took off my pants next, and she breathed in sharply. I picked up the items of clothing and threw them in the laundry basket, and then went to stand in front of her.She stepped back. I grabbed her hand. She paused.
"I've never brought anyone here. You're the only person besides me to sleep in that bed."
Thalia shrugged. "You come here often for someone who's not cheating."
"I come to be alone with my thoughts. To sail and to be with the ocean."
Her eyes softened. Good. I was penetrating. "To run away from me."
I shook my head vigorously. "I like it here. Sailing is the only thing that feels honest to me. The waters are cruel, but true."
She flinched and withdrew her hand from my grasp. "Then why did you bring us here? It seems like I am soiling your only place of refuge. Why not the Hamptons?"
"We sold off the place. And I wouldn't have gone there, anyway. That place is tainted." We all knew what I was referring to and her face fell at that.
She sighed. "I am really sorry for lying to you, Carey. I wasn't fully thinking about what my actions would do to you."
"My father did a number on us, didn't he?"
