Thalia's voice was shaky when she spoke. "I made a mistake. I-I'm sorry."
How he knew was a mystery. Was he watching us? Leave it to my father to be overly invested in everything I do. And now, seemingly, everything my wife does.
"A mistake." His voice was cool. Too cool. "A fucking misdemeanor is not a mistake! You can't afford to have an arrest record!"
"I fixed it. She has no record. The charges were dropped."
"Control her. And put a fucking baby in her!"
We left the house soon after that. I couldn't be in the same space with him without thinking of punching him in the face. Thalia was drained when we got back home. She was still fidgeting with her fingers and looked like she wanted to say something.
"I am sorry."
"You've already apologized."
"If you want us to try to have a child--"
I scoffed. "There's no way in hell I am bringing a child into this marriage."
"Right. Of course, you're right."
She couldn't look more paler. I felt a gut punch to the stomach. My father had berated her. My mother had taunted her and now I was adding my own salt to the wound. But why should I feel sorry for her. She only wants a child just so she could get a bonus from my father. Her displays of vulnerability easily swayed me, clearly.
As I began making my way to my bedroom she called out in a tiny voice,"Have you ever thought about it?"
I stopped and turned to face her. I nodded. "A child with an honest woman. There's nothing I would love more. A child with you on the other hand…"
She flinched. "What if…What if," she took a deep breath. "If you want a child, you can have one."
"Out of wedlock. Yeah, that would be a scandal my father would love."
"We can raise the child as our own. It doesn't have to be mine. It could be anyone else's. Even Gemma."
That made me pause. "Why the fuck would Gemma and I have a child together?"
"Isn't she your girlfriend or mistress?"
I had no idea what to say to that.Where was she getting this from? It had to be from Darcy. Gemma and I were friends. We dated once, but that was a long time ago.
"What Gemma and I are is none of your business. But please, feel free to indulge in your own business."
She winced.
I stalked out of the room before I changed my mind and showed her that Gemma was not the woman who occupied my mind twenty-four seven. Before I showed her I wasn't being wholly truthful when I said I wouldn't want a child with her.
Thalia and I went back to our previous state of mutually cohabiting, but barely talking. Sometimes we would spend days or weeks without speaking to each other. She was always up and about doing her own thing. What that was I had no idea. It not like I didn't want to know. I wanted to know everything about her, but I would always stop myself whenever I felt the need to look deeper into her. If I did that then that would foster aconnection with her. A connection I wouldn't be able to easily break.
Every now and then, I would think about her words. Her permission for me to have a child with someone else. She couldn't be that desperate to want to please me. The funny thing is, as much as I didn't want a child with her, thinking of her heavy with my child got me harder than anything else.Now whenever I saw her, that's all I thought about.
It was months after that conversation and I was still getting distracted by the replay. Like today when Barry caught me daydreaming during a debrief.
"If you want to reschedule the meeting for a later date, we can do that." I looked up at my partner. Barry and I worked together on a lot of cases. We were the best criminal attorneys in the firm and often were saddled with the same cases. He brought the experience of a middle-aged man with twenty years under his belt while I brought youth and a fresh perspective.
"I am sorry. I've been zoned out recently."
"What? Late night dinners with politicians got you drained?"
I shouldn't have told Barry about my plan to run for DA. Ever since then, he has found every opportunity to throw a jab at me. "No. This case got me drained. Our client won't talk even though I am ninety nine percent sure he did it. It would ease the stress if he just came out and said it you know."
