I thought of following his command after they were gone. But if I did so, who knew where it would end? Surely not with the two of us making love. Not when he was repulsed by me the entire week. No. I did not care to find out. I got up and went to my cabin, closed the door behind me, and felt a little reassurance being on my own again.
That kiss. It differed from any he had given me. There was hate and anger behind it. It was dark and twisted and yet… I wanted more. Exactly that, fucked up as it is. I ventured into the room and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Done with that, I brushed my teeth only to see that something was off. There was more than one toothbrush. I went to the closet. Carey's clothes were neatly arranged next to mine. I put on the first nightwear I found, a burgundy lace night dress that stopped a few inches above the knees and went to the phone to ask the stewards what was going on, but before I could pick up the yacht phone, the door opened. Carey came through, and his eyes immediately darkened when they landed on me.
He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "If I knew you slept like that, I might have reconsidered my silly rule."
"What are you doing here?"
He marched past me on his way to the bathroom. "Sleeping," he said without looking at me. "That's what couples on a honeymoon do."
"You're not sleeping in the same bed as I," I shouted, but he didn't respond. Soon, I heard the shower running, and I slumped onto the bed. Of course, we have to be in the same room together. I was cursing sweet Mae and Arther now for the situation they put me in. I waited for him to finish bathing andin about six minutes, he turned off the shower. Was he going to come in here naked?
We haven't consummated our marriage yet.I scrubbed the intrusive memory, but it didn't matter. My body was already heating at the thought of Carey's over mine, driving himself into me as I clung onto him like we used to.
He reappeared again in nothing but his trunks.Please don't tell me he sleeps like that?He stalked over to the bed and I scooted back until my back bumped into the nightstand. "We're not sleeping in the same bed!"
He ignored me and thrust open the sheets on the other side. "I am not sleeping on the floor."
I darted my gaze around the cabin.While luxurious, it was also minimalistic. There was only the bed we were on, a table with two chairs, and that was it. The only other flat surface besides the bed was the carpeted floor. It was nice to walk on, not to sleep on. I straightened myself and got into bed. At least it was big enough to accommodate four people, and it was just the two of us.
"Do not come anywhere near me."
"Don't worry. Whatever made me think I wanted to have sex with you has since escaped my body."
I felt a flush of embarrassment. He no longer had that same look of unquenched thirst as he had before. Carey was back to finding me repulsive again. He straightened his pillow and slid down into the covers. "I told you, dear wife, I will never fuck you again, even if you're the last woman in the world."
"Good." I felt like I had to protect myself from his barbs and deliver one of my own. "Just so you know, there was always someone else on my mind when you were inside me."
His lip curled with disgust and I wished I could take back my words, but they were already out there and they had their intended effect. I should be happy that I could wound him justas easily as he could wound me. But my words were lies and his were the truth.
Sleep was scarce, knowing he was only inches away from me. At some point I must have slept though, because I woke up the next morning with my entire back against his front, his arm around me. Our bodies had found each other during the night, drawn by some magnetic force. Did he seek me out or did I him? We were in the middle of the bed, so I couldn't tell. He was still asleep though and, not wanting to wake him up, I slowly removed his arm around me, rolled over to my side and out of the bed. There's no way I was letting him even think that I might have been the one to seek him out in the middle of the night.
Chapter 10
Thalia
1 year later
MY MOTHER DIED. Death had been following her for a while and it finally caught up to her. She had done her best to cling onto life, but the cancer came back even after she had been in remission for a few months. The second time the cancer came, it was fast, corrosive and efficient. I spent most of her last days with her. I even moved her into Carey's apartment. The apartment owner be damned, but even he had been respectful enough to not be a dick about it.
And with her around, we had resumed the same charade we put on for the Bardwells. I was grateful to him for that, at least. My mother went away thinking her daughter was happily married to her childhood sweetheart. When she died, I am sure she died with a smile on her face.
We buried her in a church cemetery close to Carey's apartment. Carey had genuinely surprised me. He made all the funeral arrangements and was astute enough to keep his distance while also being helpful. The funeral was small. Only a few people were in attendance, including Carey's brother Nolan Hawthorne Jr. The Senior couldn't be bothered to come even though it was he who had made my union to his son possible. Ifit wasn't clear that he was only using my mother's illness against me, his absence at her funeral made it transparent. Regardless, I was glad he was not there.
It took me several weeks to think straight. To get ahead of the grief that would follow me forever. To see the silver lining in her death. Nolan Hawthorne Senior had nothing to use against me. I could finally be free of the cold marriage I was in. I no longer had to pretend to be in love with a man who hated me. That is why a month after I buried my mother, I contacted him and arranged for an appointment at his office.
The Hawthorne building was intimidating. A towering gray skyscraper that was a symbolism of the dominance of the company. The elevator ride to his office felt never-ending. Nolan Hawthorne senior's office was at the top of the building. As the doors opened, his assistant, who seemed to have been waiting for me, greeted and escorted me to a mahogany and marble room with a single large desk at the center, a sitting area on one end, and floor-to-ceiling windows on the other.
"Mr. Hawthorne will be with you shortly," she said, gesturing to a chair next to the desk. I sank into it and waited for him while I rehearsed my speech. I didn't have to wait long. The old burly man with dyed hair, a tan, and a dominating presence came into the office from a side door I hadn't noticed. He beamed when he saw me. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood, I thought. Let's hope he's receptive.
"This meeting can only mean one thing I gather." He shuffled over to the desk and sank into the large leather chair opposite mine. "It has been a year, hasn't it? You're a little late, but I can forgive that." He opened his palm. "You must show me the results first."
"Re-results?"
Nolan Hawthorne Sr threw his hands up in the air. "The pregnancy test! Please tell me you went to a doctor to verify and didn't just pee on a stick."
I shook my head. "Mr. Hawthorne, I am not pregnant."
He frowned, and I watched as his bright face darken immediately. "Then why are you wasting my time?" he snarled.
