His face turns serious. “I’m sorry. You really love this place. It’s evident in everything. From the food, to the staff and the atmosphere… it’s all cozy and yet elegant.”The apology followed by a compliment takes me by surprise and I have nothing else to say except, “Thank you.”He leans back in his chair and looks around. “Except this office. It’s a little box of dreary in an otherwise sunny environment.”
I note what he’s seeing for the first time, but I have either gotten used to it or ignored it. The whitewash paint. The outdated calendar, the small desk that somehow fills the space, living little room for the files and boxes strewn on the floor. “I don’t know. Even this place holds its charm.”
“Is this why you came to me? This place? Sonya told me you were facing money troubles until I came along.”
“Sonya can be a little talkative.”
“You should have told me. I would have helped.”
I drop the pen in my hand and cross my arms. “You? You’d have laughed me out of the room and you know it.”
“Not anymore. You’re the most resilient person I know.” His voice is low, warm with a hint of seductiveness that I’ve come to expect from him, but still takes me by surprise every time. Even though there’s a desk that separates us, the room feels too small for both of us. It’s as though deep down I know that even this block of wood would do nothing to keep us apart if decide to succumb to our desires.
But I have to remind myself of the type of person he is. Especially now that he’s acting like he’s a changed man out of nowhere. And now that his assistant has told him the truth, hefinally believes me and has since realized how wrong he was. He put his son in danger because he didn’t believe me.
“Damien, what are you doing?”
“Having a chat with my wife.”
That word again.
“You know what I mean.”
The little smile he has fades, and he becomes serious. “I want us to start afresh. I want us to work on our marriage. I want to take this seriously and not just do it for a merger or for Lake, but for us. “
My heart lurches into my throat. These are the words I have yearned to hear him utter. But now that he has spoken them, the thing he offers feels hollow. He may say he wants to start over, but he still chose someone else’s words over mine. There’s too much bitterness between us to carry a relationship and chemistry alone will not do that. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me.
“If you’ve changed your opinion of me, does that mean you’ve changed your desire for vengeance?”
He nods.
“And if I want to leave, you’re willing to let me go.”
This time, he thinks for a while before nodding slightly.
“Good. Because I want a divorce.”
Chapter 26
Damien
My first reaction is an unequivocal and resounding no. If she wants divorce, then she can pry it from my cold dead hands. Ivy is mine and I will not let her go. She and Lake are family and we belong together. I’ve already lost her before and I am not about to lose her again.
I lean forward. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” She nods. I take comfort in how slight her head movement is, and that she has not said the words yes. “There’s more to us than Lake. We should explore that instead of jumping ship.”
She raises her eyebrows. “Really? Because the only thing that holds us together is a sex drive and I don’t think that’s enough glue for a healthy relationship.”
“There are other things.”
She crosses her arms on her chest. “Like what?”
I scratch my brain for the best way to approach this without scaring her off. The thing that holds us together is more than what most people have. She’s the only person I would want to wake up next to until the day I die. My life has felt different, fuller, and more colorful with her in it than without. But I don’t know how to say this to her without sounding like I’ve borrowed words from some ‘how to get your girl back’ book. “We’re good together,” I say.
She shakes her head. “You don’t even love me.”
And there it is. She wants the big thing. Problem is, I don’t think I can give it to her. I would be lying if I said I loved her. My feelings for her run deeper than anything I've ever experienced with another woman, yet confessing love would be dishonest since I've never felt that way. I’m not sure that kind of love exists. Familial love? Yes. I love my mother and I love Lake. But romantic? No. And that’s the problem. “There’s more to relationships than love.”
Her eyes water. Even when I try to be as delicate as possible, I fuck it up. Her voice is shaky as she says, “But I want the romance. I want someone who loves me not simply tolerates me.”
