I examine the paper once again. It’s eerie. But I’m willing to bet my entire company that I didn’t write this. Fuck. I didn’t even know she was pregnant. Yes, I had seen her hanging around my office. But it was eight years ago. I was trying to raise a struggling startup from the ground up. We were having so many issues and we were close to shutting it all down. I was working late nights and operating on fumes. When I saw her seven months later, the first thing that came to mind was what an awful person she was and I never wanted to see her again, especially since she was the person who had put me in the situation. I was at that point.
But there’s also another possibility. Ivy could be lying. She said it herself; she knows my handwriting. What’s stopping her from writing this note and then presenting it as if I wrote it? I look at the paper again. It’s too old to be faked. Even the ink has faded.
“Let’s say what you’re saying is true.”
“It is.”
“What about the following years? Why didn’t you contact me then?”
“Would you have believed me?”
Not until I saw Lake with my own eyes. Her face deflates when she sees the truth written on my own. Even now, I still can’t believe he’s mine. I need to see him again. To touch him. Hold him. Make sure he’s real.
“Hey where are you going?” Ivy calls out behind me. Like a man driven by something more than myself, I march over toLake’s bedroom. A few strides and I am at the door. But just as I am about to turn the knob, Ivy intercepts me.
“You can’t say anything. Not at least until I talk to him first.”
“Can I see him?”
She hesitates, then lets go of the handle. I take a deep breath and open the door. His room is styled in a popular Spiderman theme. At least that’s what movies and TV series tell me is popular with kids his age. It’s small, but quaint and well-organized. Whatever issues I have with Ivy, she keeps a clean home.
Lake is sitting cross-legged, head bent as he taps furiously at the iPad. Jingles and cutesy noises scream from the gadget as he carries on playing. I doubt he noticed the door being opened. Let alone my entrance. I stand still, unsure what to do or say. I’ve barely interacted with children in my adult life and I don’t know what one says to them. Seeing my sudden inertia, Ivy squeezes past me and enters the bedroom. “Lake honey.”
“One more minute, mom.”
“Lake.”
Lake draws out a sigh and shuts off the tablet. He unfolds himself from the bed and waddles to Ivy. Lake shakes his head solemnly, “Just when I was about to eat the monster.” He hands her the gadget, but she doesn’t take it.
“Your one hour is not up yet.” Lake beams and snatches the tablet back. “My friend here wanted to see you.”
He frowns as his gaze stares up at me. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Not at all,” I say. I brush his hair without meaning to. Lake reminds me so much of my young brother when he was at his age. “I just wanted to say hi.”
“Did we already do that?”
I shake my head.
“Really? Ok. How are you mister…”
“Sinclair.”
“How are you, mister Sinclair? My name is Lake Hawthorne.” I smile at him as we talk about nothing and everything, but I’m breaking inside. He’s not and will never be a Hawthorne. We talk very little but, I can tell from our conversation that he’s smart. I don’t know how to talk to children, but I feel like I don’t have to learn when I’m talking to him. I want so desperately to clutch him, envelope him in my chest, and walk away with him.
That will happen eventually. I have to have Lake. He’s mine, and no one has a right to keep him away from me.
Chapter 11
Ivy
“I want custody.” Words I’ve always dreaded come out of his mouth just as we leave Lake’s bedroom.
“You can’t just come here and declare things you want and don’t want. I was sure you said you never wanted kids.”
“That was the old me. New me will not have you deprive me another second away from my son.”
Ugh, he could be so stubborn. This is the same man who was visibly repulsed by a friend of his getting married back in college after the friend learned his girlfriend was expecting a child. Now he barges into my life, demanding custody of a child he never wanted.You invited him in, a small voice said. And what a mistake that was. I should have known this would happen. I was too desperate to think straight.
