My chest steadies and I lower the plate to the ground, placing it right in front of me.
An offering for her, poured straight from me.
I drop to my knees, curling my pointer finger at her, ushering her over to me. She’s such a good girl, so I don’t even need to guide her. Her hands tremble as she pushes her hair behind her ears and leans forward on all fours.
When strands fall across her face, covering her eyes, I scoot closer to her. My hand gathers it all into a ponytail.
She lowers her lips to the offering plate, and I can’t help but smile. “That’s it.”
Her tongue slowly drags over the metal, making sure there isn’t a drop to be wasted. “I love watching you accept my offering.” My dick twitches while watching her clean the bottom of the plate. Such a hungry little thing.
She looks up to me, her mouth glistening as she gives me a smirk before running her tongue over her lips, cleaning herself up. If I was god, I’d be furious. Heaven never had her and hell can’t take her. Her soul is spoken for.
I pull her into me, and we run our hands over each other’s bodies before falling on our sides. I watch her in the moonlight, her eyes shutting softly.
I can’t help but think that while I was taught to kneel for something I couldn’t see, this woman lying in front of me is teaching me to stand. So if I’m going to burn, I’ll make sure it’s for her.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Catarina
I’m digging under the bathroom sink when the first knock vibrates through my bedroom door. “Give me a minute!” Fuck. I barely slept last night, and I’m just trying to find some aspirin. Another knock, louder this time. I swing open the bathroom door and stomp over, grinding my teeth together. Give me a fucking second, will you?
I stomp over and hear Zed on the other side. “Cat. It’s me.” The tone in his voice makes me pause when I reach for the handle. Something is wrong. I feel it as I stare at the doorknob.
“Cat, I hear you at the door. I need you to let me in.”
A million thoughts run through my mind. What could it be? Is he leaving? Is he being sent somewhere? Am I being sent somewhere? As long as I’m on this side of the door, everything is still okay. I twist the knob and stare at Zed when the door opens. His hair is tousled in his face as he runs both hands through it, gently tugging at the sides. When his eyes meet mine, he rubs a hand down his face. He steps in, shutting the door quietly behind him before he pulls me over to my bed and sits down with me. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days, which makes meeven more uncomfortable because he didn’t look like this a few hours ago when we snuck off to the auditorium. “When’s the last time you spoke to your parents?”
I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. “I haven’t. Why?”
He just looks at me. “Still?”
I give him a lazy shrug, but I’m more concerned with where this is going. I feel the hesitation coming from him. Talking about my parents is like talking about his Mom, which is something neither of us want to do. He made that clear the one and only time he’s ever mentioned his Mom and how he never knew her, so we’ve steered clear of the topic altogether.
“What’s going on, Zedediah?”
Another loud knock rings through my room. “Catarina, it’s Father Fenris. I need you to open the door.” I push off the bed and feel Zed’s fingers grab at my wrist, but I pull away. I stare back at him walking to the door. When I pull it open Fenris’ eyes immediately narrow on Zed.
“Can someone just tell me what’s going on, please?” I look between the two of them and time hits a moment of pause. They stare at each other before glancing back at me. Fenris steps in and his hands are heavy when he places them on my shoulders. I hear the bed shift when Zed stands and walks over, stopping behind me.
“I just got off the phone.” My ears start to ring, and I feel like I’m having an out of body experience. “Your parents were in an accident early this morning.”
“Okay?” Do I need to go to the hospital or something? If they’re asking for me, it must be bad. I don’t think they’d ask for me to come see them if they hadn’t knocked something loose, maybe it knocked some sense into them? “Are they wanting to see me?”
Zed’s hand slides over my lower back as he circles around me coming to my side. When he speaks, a chill falls over the room. “Cat.” He picks my chin up so I meet his eyes. “They didn’t make it.” My room starts to spin but my feet stay planted, and I’m not sure what I’m feeling all of a sudden. Is it grief? Maybe anger? I don’t know.
I look at Fenris but the details of his face blur. My mouth opens before my brain processes what I’m saying. “Funeral?” is all I manage to say. My voice sounds foreign.
Fenris presses his lips together. “It’s all being arranged. I told Harold to take care of it, to help you with whatever you need.” I don’t react, I can’t.
I just stand there, waiting. For what exactly, I’m not sure.
Permission to feel it? Permission to break down? I can feel Zed’s eyes on me, but I don’t meet them. I take a step away from the two of them. The walls start closing in, and my breath comes in shallow gasps, as I choke out, “Can you give me some space?”
I see movement when Fenris shifts, and I feel the heat radiating off of him. Then unexpectedly, I feel Zed’s warm fingers on the back of my neck, my shoulders tense but I don’t pull away from his touch. He presses a kiss to my forehead, and I know Fenris is glaring at him, at us.
But Zed doesn’t care, he doesn’t let go of my neck or remove his lips for a moment that feels like it’s stretching on. He pulls back an inch and I feel his thumb brush across my neck again, and for a second, I let everything else fade and close my eyes, just feeling his small touch, leaning into it. I try to collect myself and pull it together. Zed moves his hand, and without another word they both leave, shutting the door behind them with a soft click.
