‘Great, actually. Really fun.’ I texted Benji a similar sentiment when I got home and am yet to receive a reply. My stomach dips just thinking about it. I change the subject. ‘Where are you at with catering? I think I’ve found a good Mexican option– small, family-run. They have a restaurant in Shoreditch; we could pay it a visit.’
‘Sothat’swhy you worked from home today.’
‘Because I wanted to visit the Mexican restaurant?’
‘Because your date went so great. Did you stay round his?’
‘Aiden!’
‘Hey, there’s no judgement from me. I’ve definitely had sleepovers for a lot less.’
His last sentence triggers a strange wash of jealousy, gone as quickly as it arrived, but deep, strong and burning. I shake it off instantly, putting it down to the lack of sleep. If anything, Ipityanyone who encounters Aiden.
‘Lovely,’ I sigh, going for nonchalance. ‘Now can you let me know where you’re at with the catering?’
‘Think I’ve got the Indonesian in the bag too. Wanna do a double feature? Mexican for lunch and Indonesian in the evening?’ he asks.
‘Tasting everything from both? Sounds like a lot of food. Do you think I should bring Gus or Pippa in?’
‘Hmm.’ He is clearly unenthused. ‘That could make it a “too many cooks” situation.’
‘Aiden Edwards, are you trying to take me out to dinner?’
It comes out of my mouth before I can stop it– stopping me in my tracks as much as it does him. I don’t know what’s worse, the quickness with which it came or the smooth unwavering confidence that accompanied it. There’s no explanation for it other than it being a residual stray, left over from the flirting I was doing last night. My cheeks grow hotter the longer we both stay silent, Aiden’s raised eyebrows and pursed lips speaking louder than either of us could.
‘Gus and Pippa should come too. Wouldn’t want to upset Benji,’ he says eventually.
‘Great, I’ll check their availability and get back to you.’ I squeak this as normally as possible.
It’s not normal at all. I’ve ruined the entire moment.
‘Cool. Another call later before we log off for the day?’ he asks.
We have another hour of this call scheduled.
I hesitate. ‘Yeah, sounds good. I’ll sort dates for the tasting and you let me know how it goes with the printer?’
The conversation lulls once again, leaving us with that same, off-putting silence. I want to burrow into a hole in the ground and I can feel my skin itch at the awkwardness. He waits a moment longer, mouth open to speak before snapping shut and changing course.
‘Perfect. See you, Maddy.’
His image disappears, leaving me to stare back at nothing but my pixelated reflection on the screen. I slam the lid of my laptop shut and scream into the abyss.
‘What happened?’ Mum rushes into the room with a yell, her sleeves rolled up, saucepan poised over her shoulder like a baseball bat.
‘I’m fine. Everything’s fine,’ I sigh, bending my head to rest it on the closed laptop.
‘Then don’tscreamlike that,’ she huffs, reluctantly lowering her weapon. ‘And don’t forget to fold your clothes.’
Take me out to dinner.Take me out to dinner? Who on Earth do I think I am? Who on Earth do I thinkheis? That was cringey and embarrassing in so many ways and I can only imagine how much worse it looked from his eyes. I can never see or talk to him again. There’s absolutely no way I can move past this. What was I thinking? Why would I say that? I close my eyes, take a breath and try to refocus.
I wasn’t flirting. I was just confused.
I repeat it over and over in the hopes that I’ll start to believe it.
I don’t flirt with Aiden. I wouldn’t flirt with Aiden. I wasn’t flirting. I was just confused.
Nudge 22
