Thought u were justtryna steal her job lol
Nota single girl in years and now HER? Bro. . .
Nahu can’t go from Lucy to that, come on. . .
You dog!
They go on and on, back and forth with each other longer than I can stand. It’s too much, too real. The same boys from school saying the same things they said every day for years of my life.
I can feel my heart slow, blood running colder as I let the phone fall back onto the mattress where I should have left it.
‘It’s all yours!’ Aiden practically sings as he strides through the room. His stupidly wide grin shrinks the second it takes in my now sunken frame. ‘Wait, what’s wrong?’
He rushes over to grab my face, his eyes laced with worry. He checks my temperature, and then my body for any signs of injury. I can’t speak. I lean into the comfort of his hold a mere second before it makes me recoil. I can’t let him do this. Can’t let him keep making me feel protected. I’m not safe with him. He and his friends have proven that I never will be.
He looks closer, fear running up his face as he twists my head and studies for any sort of sign. I don’t know what he’s searching for, but I can tell that he won’t stop until he finds something.
‘Y-you have a message.’ My words trip over themselves. ‘Loads, actually. From your boys.’
I gulp back the tears that threaten to follow. It’s not the time to cry. It’s time to be strong, prove I am OK.
He freezes, fear and worry dissipating as they are quickly replaced with a newfound confusion. His eyes squint back at me for more context, but I can’t speak without breaking my glare. I manage a quick nod towards his phone on the bed, which he follows instantly. My chin falls forward as he drops his hand from my face and ventures over to retrieve his phone. His eyes widen as he scrolls through the hours of chat, breath catchingmore with each message that he reads. His teeth clench firmly, face falling back to unreadable stone as he clutches the device tightly and looks over at me.
‘I didn’t go through it on purpose,’ I say, a shake evident in my voice. ‘I thought it was mine and then I saw my name, and I just. . . well, I couldn’t stop.’
‘How much did you read?’ he asks gruffly.
He’s trying not to shout, but his nostrils have started to flare.
‘I don’t know. . . Not all of it, but enough,’ I say. ‘I kind of got the gist. . .’
The bed sinks as he sits on the side, back facing firmly away from me. He throws his head in his hands, heavy breaths leaving his mouth. ‘I don’t even know where to start.’
I get it, I do. I shouldn’t have looked and there’s a big part of me that wishes I never did. But then there’s my breath that’s growing steadier and my heart that’s beating faster, letting me know that I did what I needed to do. The lust-filled bubble that we have lived in this weekend was just that: a see-through, deeply fragile bubble. It had no choice but to burst, and it was better for it to happen now than later, before we took it too far.
‘You should get back to your room,’ I say.
‘What?’ Aiden asks weakly.
It’s the first time he moves, turning to look me in the eye. His brow is furrowed, face flustered. He knows he’s been caught out and not even he can think of a way to spin it.
‘We have to go, right? And I need to shower before we do. You should go back to your room. Maybe start on the tidying.’
‘We need to talk about this.’
He’s so solid, yet also ready to collapse. I have to look away.
‘There’s nothing to talk about.’ I wrap the sheets around me as I sit up. ‘You guys said what you said and I’m sure you’ll say more.’
‘Us guys?’ he says. ‘Maddison, I wasn’t involved– you saw the messages.’
‘Some of them, yeah, but they had to start somewhere, right? My name wouldn’t have come up like that without you setting them off.’
I can feel my wrists start to shake, my body waver as I think of their thousands of jokes at my expense. I can still remember their laughs and their impressions. They echo non-stop in my ear, making me wish I could disappear.
‘You think I would do that? Encourage that?’ He spits the words out in anger, eyes still trying to catch mine.
I stare down at the crumpled duvet, fixing it tighter around my naked body and trying to shut out the noises in my head. This isn’t like then. This is somehow ten times worse, because this time I actually thought I was safe. I was an idiot, who threw decades of opinions away after one stupid kiss in his stupid car. An idiot who should have stuck to her guns and never taken him on in that stupid tent.
