I snorted mentally and thought of a wide, innocent smile. This guy knew way too much about the state of my soul, but it was entirely possible he’d also peeked at my online reading history. Oh, crud. Did he know about my orc porn?
“You are covered in it.”
I know. I’m like a black hole of smut. Ha! That sounds like a porno. The fire cracked on my calf this time, though not as hard.Gah! That hurts, and not in a good way, and the smut already knocked me back so… can I just rest, basshole?Only the pain radiating from my soul kept me from using a real curse word right now. This guy deserved it, but I knew deep down that one F-bomb would break me.
“Basshole? What in the… Just tell me, why did you do it? Why protect the child at such cost to yourself?”
I didn’t answer at first. But maybe this guy would leave if I did.I have to, you know? I can, so I must.
“Can what?”
Protect her. Them. As many of them as I can. It’s like an obsession. I hear a… calling. It says protect, so I do.
The pause was even longer. Then I heard more words, the voice slightly distant now, like he was holding his mental telephone away from his ear and talking to someone else. He murmured something that sounded like, “I can’t believe it. She can’t be. We’re not missing any Protectors… She’s foul, and has an equally filthy mind.”
Yeah, well, you’re not gonna win Mr. Congeniality either. Can I go now? I’m super sick of this nightmare.
“You are the most disrespectful Protector I have ever witnessed.” The way the voice said the word Protector made me think it wasn’t just a word. It was a job title. Or something more.
Wait. That’s what I am? A Protector?
“Apparently so. Your time on Earth is at an end. Prepare yourself to be extracted tonight.”
What… Extracted?That sounded painful.I’m not a freaking tooth, Scary Voice Dude!
There was no answer, of course.
By morning, I’d been processed at the county jail. By that evening, I was assigned to a solitary cell. The next day, when the guards buzzed open my cell and found my body lying cold, no one thought much about it. I watched from the top of the room, a wisp of invisible, pissed-off smoke, as two men carried my corpse away. Just another statistic, another soul who’d never really had a chance.
A feather lost in a storm.
CHAPTER2
Feather
Ifloated through layers of unconsciousness, my mind as clouded as a winter sky. I knew that once I emerged from the final layer of sleep, the pain would begin. Every old life ended, and each new life began, with suffering. The thought of the familiar torment ignited a panicky wobble in my chest, like my heart was trying to leap away before the white-hot searing started.
It always hurt. Every time I took the weight of evil from someone into myself—the silver-gray shadows that somehow I could see swirling inside the people around me—I suffered burning agony. Bearing it grew easier after a while, or maybe I grew stronger underneath the load. But in between my lives, while I grew accustomed to the new burden on my soul, I suffered indescribable pain. The only thing that helped was remembering why I did it.
My first charge had been my sister, Dina, near Rome around 1600 A.D. Then Dominic in Normandy. I chanted the names internally as I waited for the pain to hit.Dina, Dominic, Suzanne, Gbemi, Mai Lin, Ivan, Nguyen, Beatrice…And so many more, dozens of them. Four hundred years of moments like this, choices I’d made. And then at last, Lily. Their names were a mantra against the coming wave of agony.
I thought my way through another layer of memory, keeping my eyes closed. Wondering where I'd find myself this time, this life.
Dang! Wherever it was, they had some seriously high thread count sheets. I ran a hand underneath me. Had I finally come back as a princess, the daughter of some rich family?Aw, yeah…. Wait.Something was wrong. This wasn’t how it worked. For one thing, I wasn’t an infant. And I only ever got pain, not softness.
A disappointingly familiar voice intruded on my confusion. “Purify her.”
Ah, nice. Mr. Sexy Voice was back. No, not sexy. Don’t think sexy. He can hear me.
But he obviously wasn’t listening now, since he kept talking to the lower, grumbling voice.
“I have tried. This is as clean as she’ll get without more severe measures.” A new voice. Equally as sexy sounding, but in a lumberjack, construction worker, chain-smoker sort of way. Growly Bear. That’s what I’d call him. “Where did you find her? Is she even a Protector, Gavriel? She doesn’t feel like one of mine.”
Sexy Voice—no,Gavriel—made a frustrated noise. Then he answered, “I’m not sure. I was following a flux in the balance. The area over the city where I found her was falling to the Abyss. An entire region.”
“So many choices for evil, all at once? It’s that bad now?”
“Yes. They’re determined to worsen the imbalance and tear down the gate. But then, right after I arrived, there was a flare.”
