She looked around the clean kitchen and thought of all of the leftovers in her refrigerator.The room smelled like dish soap and lingering smoke from the smoker outside the kitchen door.“Another one in the books,” she replied with a slow smile.
He joined her, clasping his hands together and resting them on the table.“I’m glad you invited Jerry.He seems like a man of solid character.”
That uncomfortable cringe she felt for the last few days at inviting him had disappeared.Instead, she thought of the look in his eyes as he ran his finger down her cheek, the spicy smell of his aftershave in the air, and the way his hazel eyes looked dark brown with the black shirt.Her own fingers hovered over her cheek, remembering his touch.“He does.”
He looked at his hands, then at her again.“What would that look like for you?”
With a raised eyebrow, she asked, “What would what look like for me?”
After moving his shoulder with a small shrug, he said, “Well, I mean, you’re settled here, right?”
Was she?Settled?She considered the question, not wanting to demur.“You know, God pressed me to get out of the Army.I know we talked about it at the time.It didn’t make sense.I could have gone a few more years and even made it to retirement, but there was this pressing need to get out.”
He nodded.“I remember.”
“At the time I didn’t understand why.”For some reason, she felt tears burn the back of her throat.What about this conversation caused such an emotional response?“What if it was for such a time as this?”
He didn’t answer right away.Finally, he said, “What makes you say that?”
“Well,” she said, drawing out the word, “let’s say I was still in.I’m at chapel last week, and this really handsome soldier invites me out to coffee.”
“You find him handsome, do you?”her father teased.
“Uh, Dad.You saw him, too, right?You have eyes?”
He chuckled.“Go on, then.”
“Okay.So he asks me out, except he’s a sergeant and I’m a captain.That means the answer is no, without exception.”
“Seems early to have this conversation.”
“It is early.Doesn’t mean I’m not thankful I was able to have lunch with him last week, or to have him in my home today.And, I really hope I get to see him again.Soon.”She propped her chin in her hand.“What do you think about that?”
He gave her a small smile.“I think I love you, daughter, and I like this excited energy coming from you right now.”He reached out and squeezed her shoulder.“Your experience with Bryan was traumatic.What he did to you could have easily ruined your life, but you didn’t let it.You rose above it.”He tilted his head to look at her.“I can see that now.But, to be honest, I’ve worried about you for the last ten years.Not worried about your career choices.Worried that you would never let another man get close enough to you after that heartbreak.”
Dark memories tried to assault her.Her father had never brought this up before.Only her parents knew the trauma Bryan put her through and the toll it took on her soul to rise above it.“It’s my past.I can’t let the past steal my future.”She rubbed her jaw, remembering the pain of the dislocation caused by Bryan striking her with a closed fist when she dared suggest he’d had too much to drink at a tailgate party.
“There’s strength in that.I respect that,” her father said in his Irish lilt.“And I like your handsome Jerry.”
“He’s a Green Beret.”
“Impressive,” her father said, nodding.
She sat back in her chair.“He’s a sniper.”
Just like that, she set that down in front of her father and gave him time to process it.She could almost see her father integrating that fact with the personality of the man he had just shared Thanksgiving dinner with.Finally, he said, “That must take a terrible toll on him.”
Those tears she’d felt threaten before filled her eyes.“Daddy, how do I –”
When her breath hitched on the end of her sentence, he reached out and took her hand.“How do you reconcile that?”
A tear slipped down her cheek.“Yeah.”
Her father pursed his lips and contemplated the question momentarily.Then he said, “If God made you for a time such as this—and I’m neither confirming that nor denying that to be the case—but if He did, then He certainly will have equipped you for that.You consider the man—is he ajustman?Arighteousman?Then consider the missions.Are theyjustmissions?Are theyrighteousmissions?Then you think to yourself, what if he did not do what he does?What would that look like for the mission?”He squeezed her hand and let go, sitting back.“Not everything is a zero-sum.Work it out.Then, only then, you go back to the man you know.”
They sat in silence while she contemplated that.After a full minute, she said, “I really like the man I know.”She smiled and brushed that lone tear away.“Like, really like him.”
“Like, I really like him, too,” he teased.“Trust God’s plan.”
