The knife dropped out of Daisy’s hand. “That’s about the same time….” She turned all the way to face him with very wide eyes. She fumbled behind her and turned the water off. Ken wondered what her thoughts might be as he watched her expression. She looked as if she waged an internal war. Finally, she said, “That’s about the same time Brad’s wife is due, isn’t it? Valerie?”
He shrugged. “She’s due in February sometime. Don’t know what day.”
“Ken.” Daisy grabbed a towel and dried her hands. She cleared her throat and straightened her spine. “Ken, I need to talk to you about something.”
“That so?” He nodded and raised an eyebrow, grinning a half-grin. “Are you actually going to tell me this time? Or are you going to find another excuse not to?”
She gasped and asked, “What do you mean?”
“You keep saying you want to talk to me, then you put it off. Now enough is enough.” He put his hands on her shoulders. Tension vibrated off of her in waves. He gave her a little shake, and she looked up into his eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me how I can help.”
Her brown eyes swam with tears, and her lower lip trembled. Finally, she said, “I’m pregnant.”
He had anticipated about a dozen other things that she kept losing the courage to tell him. He had even planned how he would respond to any one of them. Money problems, legal problems, personnel problems, any of that he could have whipped out a little prepared script and handled it gracefully. Out of all the scenarios in his mind, pregnancy never once entered it. His heart pounded, and blood roared in his ears. Without a grin in sight, he whispered, “How can you be pregnant?”
As soon as the words came out of his mouth, he felt foolish asking. Of course he knew how. He just didn’t understand when, or who, or why she hadn’t said anything before.
“Remember when I told you then that I had been in a serious relationship and found out he was married?” She pulled away from him and turned her back to him, putting her hand against her forehead. When she spun back around, she crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t know how he managed to seduce me. I don’t know why I believed his lies and let him. But the morning I found out I was pregnant, I thought, he’d fix it.”
Her hand fell to her side. “I thought, ‘I’ll go see him and tell him, and we’ll get married, and no one will know just how out of order my life has gotten.’ Except he was really angry because I had come on an off day. Come to find out, his wife also worked in that office. He spent the whole time I was there worried she would see me there. I was humiliated and pregnant, and suddenly all alone.”
His mind whirled. Pregnant. By the married man. So, pregnant this whole entire time? He couldn’t focus on one thought. “Daisy…”
She held up a hand. “No. The problem, Ken, is that this has nothing to do with you. And I have been in love with you since I was thirteen. You came into my office all these years later, and I discover that none of those feelings I’d had for you had paled over time. You were still Ken Dixon. You’re the man of my dreams. Even more, now, with everything you do and everything I do. And then you asked me out. Me. How many times had I wanted you to ask me out? Hundreds? Thousands? Wrong as it was, I couldn’t help myself.”
She sniffed and gasped, and speaking very quickly, she said, “I tried to tell myself I didn’t really love you like I did all those years ago. Maybe it would have worked, but then you kissed me, and I knew I loved you. But I know you can’t love me. I know you can’t. This has nothing to do with you.”
He suddenly realized she was ending their relationship on the heels of admitting she was in love with him. Panicked, he stepped forward and grabbed her arms. He wanted to shake and beg and scream to make her just listen, but he just gently rubbed his hands up and down and said, “This has everything to do with me.Youhave everything to do with me.”
Tears poured out of her eyes. He pulled her close and soon could feel the wet tears soaking his shirt, hear the gasping of her breathing. “How?” The sound came out as a wail.
How did he put into words the emotions churning inside his heart? He squeezed her tight and pressed his lips against her hair. “Because I love you, too. What else matters?”
She hiccupped, then shifted back so she could look up at him. He put his hands on her wet cheeks and brushed her tears away with his thumbs. “How can you say that? When I…”
He pressed his lips to hers, swallowing her protest. Her salty tears and trembling lips made him long for the power to take her fear and pain away. As he kissed her, the chaos in his mind and heart stilled, and he knew with certainty that God was with them and had a hand in bringing them together in His perfect timing.
He raised his head and looked down at her. She wouldn’t meet his eyes. He brushed the hair off her forehead and lifted her chin until he could gaze into her eyes. “I love everything about you. Including that baby you’re carrying. The baby is a part of you.”
“Will you still love it after it’s born?”
He didn’t try to resent the question, but he felt a knee-jerk response and pulled back the retort that sprang to his mind. Instead, he simply said, “Yes. Of course.”
She took a deep, shaky breath and slowly let it out. “The baby’s father signed away all his legal rights. I made him do it that day. I think he was relieved.”
The thought of how completely alone Daisy must have felt for the last six weeks made him see red at the periphery of his vision. “All the better.”
She pulled away from him. His hands suddenly felt very empty. “You can’t possibly mean that. You can’t mean you’re okay with the fact that I’m carrying my married lover’s child. I don’t believe you.”
Ken slipped his hands into his pockets to hide his clenched fists. “What will it take? I don’t know how to word what I’m thinking.”
Ken wanted to tell her it didn’t change how he felt about her even though this happened. He wanted to tell her he trusted God and how God had worked this situation out with the timing. He wanted to explain to her the depth of love he felt that encompassed the baby, too. Ken wanted to say all those things, but he didn’t know how.
“Okay. Here.” She pressed her fingertips to her temples. “I want you to go home. I need to take the day off work, and I want you to go to the house you’re building. I want you to sit on that huge front porch, and I want you to think about me, and this baby, and us. And if you spend the day doing that and come back tomorrow still feeling this way, then I will believe you. But if you come to any other conclusion, I want you to just be honest with me.”
Time alone to process? Time to pray and ponder by himself while he used his hands to build? The fact that Daisy had given him exactly what he would need if he actually had to work through this problem affirmed her place in his life even more. But he didn’t say that now because she didn’t need to hear that now. He’d tell her tomorrow morning. “Deal.” He closed the distance between them and cupped her chin with his hand. “See you tomorrow.”
He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. He tasted her salty tears as he pulled away. Then he turned around without another word and walked out.
