Valerie reached into her purse and pulled out her Bible. She’d had a feeling she would need it tonight. Using her napkin, she dried her face and her eyes and opened the Bible to the book of Romans, prepared to hear every word Madison spoke.
An hour later, she stood and tossed her empty plate and cup into the trash can. She felt energized but at the same time sad to see the meeting end. She walked up to Madison. “Thank you for sharing your story,” she said.
“I try to about once a year. I encourage everyone to share, but not all of us are as comfortable baring the depths of our souls to a group of women they may or may not know.” She laughed, obviously teasing. “Just know that if you ever need a friend, someone who understands, I’m here.”
“I appreciate that.” She slipped her purse over her shoulder. “I am trying to find a way to trust in a relationship. I think you gave me some good tools and a starting point.”
Madison put a hand on her shoulder. “And a group that I hope you will return to.”
She nodded. “It is definitely on my schedule. I’ll see you Sunday.”
Valerie stood on the gazeboplatform and watched a fat bumblebee crawl through a magnolia bloom. The sound of footsteps on the path made her tense, and she turned. When she saw Brad, a nervous butterfly started dancing in her stomach replacing her fearful tension.
“Permission to come aboard?” he asked gently.
Despite her feelings about him right now, she said, “Aye,” which was far from what she wanted to say. However, since he asked her to meet him, she thought she ought to let him “come aboard.”
“Thanks for coming over.”
He wore a pair of khaki shorts and a black golf-style T-shirt with the red Dixon Brothers Contracting logo over the pocket. She hadn’t seen him in several days. His drawn face looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes. Out of character, his hair looked shaggy and he needed a shave.
“I wanted to hear what you had to say,” she said coolly. She gingerly lowered herself to the bench. Her hip ached today, which made her think some summer storm system bore down on them.
“My dad came and talked to me the other night and made me realize something.”
“Oh?” She bit her tongue on words like, “That you’ve been a jerk? That you’ve blamed me for what happened.” Saying something like that would not make this planned meeting end any sooner.
“Yeah.” He walked over to the bench next to her and stood on it. Looking up, she watched as he lifted his arms and jumped, grabbing the beam above him. With apparent ease, he pulled himself up and grabbed something from on top of it. He swung down with a loud thud, then hopped off the bench. When he handed her the box, she gasped.
“Our dreams and desires box,” she whispered, examining the metal tin, noting the rust on the edges where the lid met the box. She looked up at him, and he sat next to her but did not touch her. “We’re supposed to wait until we’re thirty to open this.”
“I think we’ve waited long enough,” he said. “Go ahead.”
She pried open the lid and rust dusted her lap and coated her hands. Reaching in, she pulled out her envelope, trying to remember what she’d written. The seal easily came loose on the envelope.
She cleared her throat and read out loud.
“I would like to come back and live at the castle. I want to stay and hate that Buddy is moving us away. So, I’m going to go to college, become an architect, and move back into our cottage. By thirty, if I’m not married to Brad, I hope I’m married to a man who loves me and who doesn’t mind that my best friends are three identical men, because they’ll always be a part of my life.”
Her breath hitched and tears came to her eyes. “How had I forgotten this so thoroughly?”
“If you’re not married to Brad?” He cleared his throat. “I never knew you felt that way, Val.”
Regret warred with embarrassment. “I never dreamed you’d feel the same way. I thought you thought of me as a sister.”
He leaned close and reached around her to pull out his envelope. He handed it to her. “Please read mine.”
As with hers, the gum on the envelope had long given up its stickiness. She pulled out the single notebook paper and a photo. She looked at the photo first—a picture of Brad and her sitting together at Thanksgiving dinner. When Rosaline had prompted them for the picture, Brad had put his arm around her chair and leaned close to her.
Valerie’s hands began to tremble as she unfolded the paper. She cleared her throat and read Brad’s neat handwriting.
“My hopes and dreams: to marry Valerie Flynn and love her every minute of my life while we live in the cottage on the estate so our children can grow up surrounded by our family. I dream of a day when skin color means nothing, especially because that’s why Buddy is moving her away from us. One day, diversity won’t be a word that is used build barriers and rip people apart. I love Valerie, and one day she’ll see it and love me, too.”
With careful movements, she folded the paper and slipped it back into the envelope. Brad sat down next to her. “Dad reminded me that despite my longing, my deepest desires, my biggest hopes, I never once told you. I sat back and just hoped you’d notice.” He paused and she looked at him. The storm in his eyes made her breath hitch.
“You were the only woman I ever loved. I loved you so much but I wasn’t very mature about it. I thought that you would just see it and feel it like I did. So, I kept quiet and expected you to just come to your senses someday.”
He shook his head. “That was stupid. And I’m sorry. And I’m sorry that you left for college without a word from me. That’s my fault, too. At the time I thought if it was meant to be, you’d just come to me. Rather passive of me.”
