“Who is Santo?”
I shouldn’t tell her. It was a bad idea to bring him up in the first place. It’s been a while since I had a chat with someone about him. And when he and Shelby died, I didn’t let anyone know I was hurting from their deaths. But in the mafia, that’s how it’s supposed to be. If you show a sign of weakness, people will use it against you. I gulp the wine, washing down the steak.
“No one.”
She rests her hands on my palms, stroking me like a wounded child. “You can tell me, Devious.”
If I don’t tell her about Santo, then she might go back and ask Marla, and my cousin won’t keep her mouth shut about me to her.
“You’re done eating?” I ask.
She nods.
“Let’s sit out on the lounge chairs and look at the city.”
I grab her hand and lead her to the lounge area. She kicks off her white flip-flops, lying on the white chair. I sit next to her, resting my hand behind my head. We both stare at the city in awe. I want to tell her what happened, and I know she’s going to find out one way or another. Roselyn doesn’t seem like the type who goes around telling everyone’s secrets. Hell, I told her about how Aiden killed Draco.
“Shelby was pregnant with my son, Santo. But I found out from Cashel it was his son.”
“Who is Cashel?”
“The don of the Irishfamiglia. We used to be close. He was my best friend since we were in diapers, but he turned on me. He had an affair with Shelby.”
Shock mars her face. “That explains a lot. Why you’re so big on loyalty.” She grabs my hand and squeezes tight. “I’m sorry. No one deserves to be treated like shit.”
I rub the back of my neck, trying to relieve the stress.
“How far along was she?”
“Six months. I couldn’t save her or Santo.”
Pain pebbles in my chest, and the hollow feeling in my stomach makes it ache. I shake my head at the memory of me trying to perform CPR on her and rushing her to the hospital, lying to the doctors about what happened. The doctors called the police, and when they found out who I really was, they left the case alone. I lied to Shelby’s mother about what happened to their daughter. The only people who know what happened are Marla, Charlotte, Cashel, and Aiden.
All of a sudden, I feel hot and my hands shake.
“How did Shelby die?” Roselyn asks.
I stare into her cornflower eyes. She knows how she died. It’s written on her face. I don’t want to tell her right now because I don’t want to face what I did to Shelby. And I already proved time and time again to Roselyn that I’m a bad man. How would she look at me as a person who killed a child and their mother?
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me. Tell me,” she pleads.
She better drop the fucking subject now.
She stands up from the lounge chair, hovering over me. “You don’t get to shut me out now, or ever. Tell me what happened to Shelby.”
“Why the fuck are you trying to ruin our evening? Drop it—last warning.”
“I see the guilt on your face every time I mention her name. Whatever you did to her, she’s your weakness. Not because you might still love her, which I hope you don’t, but because of the regret. I told you what will break me. Now you tell me what will break you.”
I stare at her face for a few seconds, crossing my arms across my chest.
“I killed Shelby and Santo.”
Devious
Past
