He swilled the glass under the tap, and then drank a couple of pints of water too. He had this thirst, like he’d been baked under a hot grill for an hour. Ash returned to the fridge and claimed a carton of juice and a handful of mini cocktail sausages. Apparently, he had the munchies too. He ate them and then raided the cupboards until he happened upon a bag of tortilla chips. Rather than heading back to the bedroom and a seemingly inevitable fight with Ginny, he trekked down the lawn to the anchorage and sat at the end of the stone jetty with his feet in the water. He had his snacks and a bevvy. All that was missing was a smoke. Not that he was craving nicotine, just something to do with his fingers.
The black waters glittered ahead of him, and way, way in the distance there was the faint glow of street lamps, or perhaps the light in someone’s bedroom. It was too quiet. He missed the bustle of the tour bus, the constant reassuring thrum of its engine, but mostly he missed the companionship. There was always a shoulder to lean on, a drama going on. Basically a ton of things to fill up his mind so he didn’t have to listen to his own thoughts.
He heard the patter of footsteps and realised that someone was coming towards him. “Ginny?” he said without turning. He wasn’t sure he actually wanted her companionship if she was going to tell him he was a dunce for not taking his health seriously. He did, but he didn’t want to just exist. It was important to enjoy life too. It wasn’t as if there’d been a whole lot of fun and thrills recently.
“Afraid not.” Xane sat beside him. He didn’t have a stitch of clothing on, which meant he was on the prowl looking for a fuck, or had recently secured one.
Or not, judging by his glower.
Ash passed him the juice carton, which Xane returned with a sniff of derision. “Unless you have a flask full of vodka to make it palatable, I’ll pass.”
Yeah, because there were pockets in his skimpies, and if he’d had spirits on his person, he’d have downed them neat over diluting them with orange juice.
“What are you doing out here?” Xane brushed his near waist length hair behind his shoulders.
“Could ask you the same.” Ash took a swallow of the juice, and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. He didn’t much feel like having a discussion about his desire to get his girlfriend off, and her unwillingness to let him.
“Simple. I’m a shit boyfriend.” Xane clasped his hand behind his head. Then he lowered his back to the walkway. “I’m probably a shit human being too.”
Xane would hear no arguments from him on that score. “True, but then I’m a shit guitarist, so we can be in the shit together.” He lay down beside Xane, so that they were both looking up at the stars. To a casual observer, maybe it’d look weird, them both chilling like this, but there was nothing more than friendship to it. He’d missed this sense of normality and security. They didn’t really need to talk to know where they were both at, they understood.
“Yours is a temporary affliction. I fear mine’s permanent.”
Xane and relationship drama were synonymous.
“Luthor and Dani not seeing eye to eye? Cor, ’cause that’s such a surprise.” There were women out there, plenty of them, who’d happily date Xane and let him screw Luthor on the side. Dani Fosbrook wasn’t one of them. It was hard to see looking at Xane and Dani how they’d ever ended up together. Xane was a certified sex addict, with a flair for the dramatic, and Dani was a first class prude who struggled to think outside of the confines of the narrow religious teachings she’d been fed by rote for years. Although clearly she was capable of some sort of magic, or she’d never have held Xane’s attention.
“I can’t say no to either of them, and they don’t want me to say yes to them both.”
“If you will insist on being polyamorous…”
“Denying that’s who I am only makes things worse.”
“Have you tried getting them both shitfaced and dragging them into bed?” Yeah, he knew that was a dreadful plan, but sometimes it was the bad ideas that resulted in workable solutions.
Xane snatched the juice and took an awkward swallow. “Don’t even plant that idea. The last time I pulled that stunt, it didn’t end well. Steve’s dead because of the fall out.”
“I guess you’re just going to have to suck it up and live with the complications then.”
Xane turned onto his side, and hitched himself up on one elbow. “Yeah,” he drawled after a thoughtful pause.
For a minute or two, their gazes flicked over one another, without seeming to acknowledge what they were gazing at. “It’d just be nice to get off, you know. With two lovers, you’d think there’d be twice the thrills, but between them, they keep dangling me on a thread, and batting me back and forth. For fuck’s sake, I just want to fuck!” He yelled the last bit out across the water.
“Well don’t look at me. I ain’t volunteering.” No way, he’d been there and made that mistake before.
Xane flashed him a heart-stopping smile, then laughed from his belly. “Figured I blew my chances with you years ago.”
Ash folded himself into a protective ball. “Yup. It’s strictly fan-service only between us.”
Xane continued to chuckle. “I see, so I’m only allowed to get you off if it’s live on stage. Well, hell, hurry up and get better Ash, ’cause that’ll reel the crowds in.”
Ash whacked him with the bag of tortilla chips, causing the packet to burst and spray them both with bits. Ash picked one off Xane’s stomach and ate it. His friend retrieved another couple and did the same.
“Okay, so no more bullshitting, how is your hand?” Xane asked after they’d munched their way through the picnic on his skin.
Ash flexed the fingers of his left hand one at a time, then those on his right as a comparison. “Sometimes the range of movement is better than this. Other times I can’t move a thing.” He was kind of surprised he’d admitted that.
“I guess that means that given time things might improve to the point of there not being an issue.”
