“Thank fuck because I need to come inside you.” He starts again, taking on an even better rhythm than before. “I want this tight little cunt fucked so full you can’t forget.”
His admission takes me over the brink, and I start to fall apart. I can only imagine how I must look as I use whatever leverage I can to let him take me faster and deeper until I forget my own name and can’t stop murmuring his, over and over.
“So fucking gorgeous. I wish I could bottle the sound of you coming like this. Even better because I know it’s on my cock.” He gloats for half a moment before his own orgasm takes hold, and he loses his words.
I whisper his name like a prayer when I feel him coming hard inside of me, closing my eyes to listen to him. He groans as he slows his thrusts, taking his time finishing us both off. He pulls out of me slowly as his palms brace my hips, and his thumbs work slow circles over my skin. There’s a low rumble of approval from his chest as he takes a step back to admire his work. I feel his fingers slip inside me and back out again as I hear his sharp intake of breath and a muttered curse.
“Zeph, you should see this. My cock is soaked. Your tight little cunt so full of me. You’re dripping out onto the saddle. Making such a mess.” He’s still breathing heavy. The low raspy sound of his curses are the only thing I can hear in the barn. I’m half jealous anyone else gets to hear them and half proud they’re all for me. I’m too dazed to even respond. His hands follow the curve of my hips as he puts my dress back into place and then fabric rustles along with a zipper as he puts himself back to rights. He walks around, unhooking me and holds out a hand to help me up.
He kisses me sweetly, like he didn’t just say all those filthy things to me or bend me over and fuck me senseless. He takes his time undoing the rope around my wrists, using careful ministrations as he rubs his thumb over my skin and makes sure I’m okay. I feel silly for starting the fight that led us here. I should have known better. Trusted him more. But I feel like we’ve torn down another wall that was keeping us apart in the process.
“Just so you know… She has a crush on one of the guys who works here, and she knows we’re friends. She was hoping I could get him out to the bar one night, and I asked her why she didn’t just ask him directly. Too nervous, I guess. Just between us, I’m fairly certain he’s been in love with her since the day he laid eyes on her,” he explains as he wipes down the saddle stand.
“You believe in love at first sight?” I’m surprised. “I didn’t take you for that much of a romantic.”
“I didn’t, but a man can change his mind, right?” The intensity of his gaze as he looks at me makes my heart flutter in my chest.
“Right,” I agree.
“So I was just offering to help her out. You read that all wrong, darlin’.”
“I’m sorry. I just thought… I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that. I should have asked instead. This is so different from what I’ve known before.” I wrap my arms around him, hoping that he understands I’m still navigating what having someone who’s so honest with me means.
“I know.” He kisses my forehead. “You don’t have to apologize. Besides, if that’s how we work through it, I don’t think I mind a fight now and then.”
THIRTY-TWO
Levi
“Have you ever been in love?”she asks as her fingers trace over the rocks at the edge of the spring, and her lashes lift to let her eyes meet mine. I brought her up here to the hot springs to give her muscles a much-needed break. Between riding horses and riding me the last week, the woman deserves it.
But I hate the question she’s just asked. I don’t want to talk about people from our past. We have so little time left together, and the last thing I want to do is taint it with the presence of ghosts. But if she’s asking, I’m giving. I’m sure she has her reasons.
“Once. Maybe twice if you count high school first loves. But I don't think those really count much.”
“Really? I feel like mine counts. He was the only one I really had though.” She glances into the distance, not meeting my eyes as I feel the pang of sympathy deep in my chest.
“How old were you when your father forced you to get married?”
“Nineteen.” Her voice grows quiet.
“Did you ever think you might love him, or was he horrible from the beginning?”
“Both. I hoped I would love him or grow to. He wasn’t my type, physically or intellectually. But he had moments where he could be kind or at least fake it for a while. He was funny on occasion. I thought maybe if I got more of those moments, it could at least be tolerable,” she explains.
“Fuck. That must have been terrible. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Especially at such a young age.” I wish I’d known her then. I might have been able to help her escape sooner.
She shrugs. “When you don’t think there’s any way out, you can convince yourself of almost anything. You just want a moment where it doesn’t feel like your whole world’s dreary and sad. You know? So I tried to make the best of what I had.”
“I get it.” I nod along. “So this high school boyfriend, he still around? Should I be jealous?” I mean for it to be a tease, something to take the pall off this conversation, but her eyes go distant, and her face falls with the mention of him. I feel like I’m in a minefield, but I want to understand her more. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No. No. You didn’t. It’s just he’s gone. They, um…” She takes a deep breath. “They set him up. Corey did anyway, after he and my father hatched this scheme to get me married off to him. That’s how he died.” I can hear the quiver of sadness in her voice, and I reach out to run my hand over hers.
“Holy fuck.” I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I knew Corey was depraved, and her father seemingly had no limits to what he’d do to consolidate and reinforce his power. But to kill an innocent man whose only crime was loving her? If I had regrets, I wouldn’t now.
“I know. Especially after I just told you I tried to make the best of the marriage. Right? I must sound like a horrible person.I am a horrible person. It’s part of why I went to the convent. I thought maybe if I did enough good in the world, enough charity work and giving back, maybe somehow I could make up for it.” Tears form at the corners of her eyes, and one rolls down her cheek into the spring water.
“Did you know they were going to do that?”
