“Zeph?” Levi sounds half awake and more than a little unsure, putting more distance between his body and mine. Nothing like the version that had just been so in sync with me. “You okay?”
I freeze.
“You were…” He pauses, and I realize he’s searching for words. I hear him swallow hard before he continues. “I think you were having a dream.”
“Oh, um. Yes. I was having a nightmare. I think. Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” He’s short, and I’m worried I’ve pissed him off somehow.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” I shift in the bed to turn into a new position so I can see his face, and I misjudge how close we are. My hip grazes his dick as I move, and I can feel how hard he is.
He clears his throat. “Sorry,” he apologizes. “Whatever was happening in your dream. You were, uh, grinding back against me. I swear I woke up like this and woke you up as soon as I realized.”
“You’re fine.” I shake my head. Still trying to process how this man and the one who spoke to Corey are one and the same.
“Your nightmare…” The words fade on his lips, and I hear him shift. “Whatever it was. I’m sorry. Especially if it was him. Feel free to let me kill him again in your dreams.”
“No, it wasn’t him. It was you.”
“Me?” He sits up. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I thought today was probably too much for you, and I shouldn’t have?—”
“We were having sex.” I interrupt him, and he goes silent. “In my sleep actually.”
“In your sleep?”
“I woke up in my dream to you already inside me,” I explain, feeling the creep of embarrassment up my spine. “I’m sorry. It’s awkward, I know. I’m just telling you so you don’t think it was anything bad. I’m not awake enough to come up with a white lie.”
“You said it was a nightmare.” He sounds concerned.
“Okay, well, that part was a lie. I guess I can lie, but not creatively.” I laugh softly, trying to get him to relax, but I can feel the tension rolling off him.
“I can sleep on the couch,” he offers after what feels like an eternity.
“No. Please don’t. We’re fine. We can go right back to the way we were. It was just a dream. I’ll say a rosary for it.” I try to make a joke to ease his worry. I turn and scoot back, trying to snuggle up to him again. His hand braces against my hip, preventing me from getting any closer.
“I’m trying to be a good guy right now, Zephyrine.” His voice sounds strained. “I’m trying to do the right thing. Trying not to take advantage of you. But I…”
“But…” I finish turning over to look at him. I want to see his face when he talks. It’s so expressive, and it’s so rare that I get a glimpse of him without his glasses on. Not that I don’t findthem sexy as hell, but seeing him without them makes me feel like I get a little bit of him that not many people do. Just like that first night here in the shower. A touch more vulnerable than he normally is.
“But you’re so fucking pretty when you moan, and listening to you is one of my favorite fucking sounds in the world. I almost didn’t wake you up. Which I realize is fucking depraved given our situation. So I can sleep on the couch.” I can hear the guilt eating him alive.
A long beat of silence passes between us while my mind whirs. Part of me wants to give him an out. Another part of me wants to seize this chance. But I’m scared of him rejecting me the same way he did before. But nothing risked, nothing gained. My heart pounds faster in my chest.
“Did you fall back asleep?” He breaks the silence.
“Do you want me to?” I reach across his chest and grab his arm, pulling it around me as I curl back up with my back to him again. I press his hand to my stomach, just underneath where my nightgown has bunched up around my waist. He splays his fingers, his palm brushing just above my navel. He absently lets the base of his thumb stroke over my bare skin. “I think I’d like being woken up like that.”
“Like what?” His hand freezes in place.
“You—breathing against my neck. Your hand tight around my middle. Fucking me awake.”
“Is that how I fucked you in your dreams when I was a priest?”
“Sometimes.”
“There was more than once?” He pulls me tight against his body, and I feel his hard cock nestle just below my cheeks, my panties and his boxer briefs providing the two thinnest of barriers between us. Ones I want to curse right now as much as I want to appreciate them.
“It was almost every night.”
