She nods, taking a delicate bite of her cake and washing it down with another sip of her coffee-flavored cream.
“I told her the truth about everything. It felt like the right thing to do.”
“Not all the details, I hope.” I could only imagine the abbess having a heart attack if she knew one of her precious nuns was tying men up and taking advantage of them in fields somewherein the States, and that’s before we even get to the convenient disappearance of her husband.
“I spared her that much.” Zephyrine grins, and her blue eyes light with the thought.
“She threw you out then?”
“Surprisingly, no. She said we’re all human, and we make mistakes. That it had been unusual circumstances, and she could understand, given the situation, how something like that might happen. She just asked that I spend time in prayer and reflection, make sure that becoming a nun was what I truly wanted. Reminded me that it’s a lifetime of commitment,” Zephyrine explains.
“What did you decide?” My heart is practically in my throat with hope.
“I thought about something Dakota said, about how I might be forcing myself into a box that wasn’t of my own making. One that might not really exist if I took a step back. So I thought a lot about everything. I thought about you.” She looks up at me. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, if I’m honest.”
“Me either,” I admit.
“I thought about the past. About Chase. My father. My mother. All the work my grandfather did. Everything we managed to accomplish in such a short amount of time. With Charlotte’s help and your family’s and the Kellys’. I compared that to what I could accomplish in the convent, and I realized I could probably do a lot more good outside of the convent than in it. And the abbess agreed with me when I spoke with her.”
“So you’re leaving?” My heart might explode in my chest while I wait for this woman to get to the words I want to hear.
She nods. “I’m leaving the convent, but I’m still working as a liaison of sorts. A way to make amends to them for leaving after so long there without joining the order. But I’m free to go whereI need to. I just have to go back every so often to check in, and I’ll still need to touch base with the curators at the Vatican.”
“So where will you be living?”
She grins. “Well, when I messaged Dakota to thank her for the advice she gave me, she told me I needed to get my quote ‘ass back to Purgatory Falls,’ and sent me a slew of apartment rental listings in town.”
“I can get you a place. Easy. Fuck, you can live at my place or the ranch. Wherever you want. I’ll make it happen.”
“Well, I actually have one. She picked one out with me and helped me put down a deposit.” She looks to me for my reaction, and I bite my tongue. Charlotte and Dakota were conspiring both for and against me, it seems. I’m not sure how to feel about that. But she continues on, drowning out my thoughts. “I figured if I'm going to start over, I want to try it on my own. I went from my father to Corey to the convent. I only had a few months at university, so I’ve never really had the chance to stand on my own two feet. I think I need that. To figure out who I really am, you know?” she explains.
“I see.” I swallow back an impulsive response before I speak again. “If that’s what you need, I understand. I’m just glad you’ll get a chance to be out from behind those walls.”
“But I’m also really hoping for the chance to see where things might have gone between us. In a different life. Where we weren’t stuck in a cabin and you weren’t having to constantly follow me around and rescue me. And I was just a girl who lived in the same town who happened to develop a massive crush on you after meeting you at a café one day.” She reaches across the table, her fingertips brushing over my knuckles.
My heart kick-starts in my chest again, rebounding from the pit of my stomach as my eyes lift to meet hers before they drop down to where we touch. I take a deep breath, letting my thoughts turn over before I speak.
“I mean, if there is a chance that you might be interested, of course. I understand things could have changed. I know how we left things, how I left things, and… Well, I wouldn’t blame you if you've moved on,” she adds quickly.
“I didn’t move on, Zeph. How could I possibly move on knowing you’re out here? You’re everything I ever wanted and more that I didn’t know I needed. I’m just trying to reconcile my greedy, jealous impulses with what you’re offering.” I push my glasses up and scrub a hand over my mouth, my eyes following the uneven masonry of the stone building in front of me. “I know you’re right. It’s the right way to do things. You need your freedom. I knew that when I left you at the convent, and I know it now. I respect it, but fuck, I hate the idea of you being alone like that. I worry, you know? He’s still out there even if he is handcuffed by the investigations and inquiries.”
“Dakota said you’d say that. Which is why we picked one of the apartments in the new residential wing of the Avarice. I'll have the extra security, and if you think I should have more, it will be easier to install there. Plus, I figured it’d make sleepovers at each other’s places easier. Less baggage. Shorter commute. Assuming you're up for that, we could always negotiate how many nights a week that is.” A wry smile forms as she watches my reaction.
“I think I’d be up for that, yeah.” My voice cracks with the effort of trying to sound calm.
“Good, because I was hoping you’d give me a lift back to the States with you tomorrow.” She takes another sip of her coffee, wiping the thin line of cream that formed on her cupid’s bow with a napkin. “After you ravage me in my hotel room tonight, that is.” Her lashes lift with the invitation.
“I think I can manage that for you.”
“Perfect.”
FIFTY-FIVE
Zephyrine
“Holy fuck.”Levi lets out a low whistle as he surveys the hotel room I’m staying in. We took a walk around the city and ate dinner at a quaint little Gasthaus down the street at his insistence. If it had been up to me, I might have just brought him back here and worried about room service later. “Is the Vatican paying for this?”
“No. This is Charlotte’s doing.” I do a quick twirl, grinning as I look back at him. “Isn’t it gorgeous?” The hotel rises above one of the main squares in the city, and the floor-to-ceiling windows in the room have spectacular views of vintage roofs and cobblestone paths leading out between the churches and shops. “I think it might have been a setup though.” I tap the champagne bottle that’s on ice on the table and snatch one of the chocolate-dipped strawberries that sit next to it, offering it up to him.
