“How am I going to live without you?” I voice the thought that’s been rolling through my head all evening.
“You’re asking the wrong person because I’m praying you can’t.” He slips his hand under my jaw, cupping it and tilting my head up before he kisses me one last time.
We fall asleep together in my bed, me wrapped around him, naked and uncaring if we’re caught like this or not. But in the wee hours of the morning, when I wake up, he’s gone. The bed empty. The door locked. The sheet pulled back into place overme, and the room straightened like everything was a dream. Only the empty bottle of anointing oil reveals the truth.
When I get up in the morning, I find the phone he gifted me with a note:
I couldn’t bear to hear you say goodbye, so I’m saving us both the trouble. I set up your phone so I can keep an eye on you, just like old times. You know where I stand. How I feel. You ever want to come home, you call me.
I press the phone to my chest and sob until it’s finally time for my shift in the kitchen.
FIFTY-FOUR
Levi
“Knock, knock.”Charlotte’s voice is at the door of my office.
“Come in,” I call, my brows knitting together in confusion. “Didn’t realize we had a meeting today.”
“We don't. I was just in town on business with Hudson and figured I’d ask for this favor in person.”
“What favor is that?”
“I have a potential contact I’ve set up a meeting with. She wants my help locating something she thinks might have ended up on the black market. She’s a liaison for a much bigger client who doesn’t want to wait. The problem is she needs a meeting this Friday, and Rowan and I have another appointment in Seattle that weekend already.”
“They won’t wait?”
“No, and I’d rather not have Hudson go. There’s the potential for this one to be dangerous. Frankly, I’m not entirely sure it’s not a trap, and he has several board meetings next week.They frown on him being full of bullet holes at those things. Apparently, it makes the investors nervous.”
“If you need me to, I can,” I offer, shrugging off the danger. I could use it to feel alive again. The casino has been wildly uneventful lately, and Zephyrine’s brothers have been as quiet as their father. “There’s an event at the casino, but I can see if Grant and the rest of the staff can handle it.”
I need something to pull me out of this pit of despair. I've been wallowing in it for weeks—far too long. She’d be disappointed in me if she could see. Watching me sulk and eating up every morsel of the short messages she sends my way. But they’re few and far between, just like she promised. Enough to know she’s alive and well, but not enough that we can fall back into old habits. Not enough to give me hope that she’s coming home. Not that I’m willing to accept an alternative.
“I thought you all might hire that Bishop guy. He seemed capable. Maybe you get a few weeks off for a vacation after this?” Charlotte scans me like she’s seen roadkill in better condition.
“We’re talking about it. He’s not much for a nine-to-five.”
“Neither are you, by the looks of it.” She gives me a sympathetic look.
“It's just been a long few weeks. Months really.”
“Well, if it’s the reason I suspect, you might like where you’re headed.”
“Where’s that?”
“Munich. That’s not far from your nun, is it? Maybe you could see her?” Charlotte gives me hope.
My heart skips a beat at the thought of seeing her again. Her sweet smile. Her gorgeous blue eyes. Even if it were just in passing while I sat at the back of the church at the abbey for Mass, I’d take it. A glimpse of her to get me through a little longer. But then my heart falls.
“I shouldn’t. She needs time to figure things out. Space to decide what she needs to do to make peace with everything.”
“Well, I’m sorry for you both. Truly. I went through something like that once, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.” Charlotte offers a small smile of support.
“Neither would I.” There’s no sense in pretending to be fine around the people that know me best when it’s obvious I’m not. “But maybe this job will be interesting enough to provide a distraction.”
“I hope so. I’ll have my assistant send over the details?”
“Sounds good,” I agree, and with that, she’s out of my office. And I’m left alone with my thoughts, doing my best to stop coming up with reasons I need to go to the abbey or the lake.
