When he smiled widely, I wondered how the hell it was that I’d wound up fucking Jakob Martin. You know, of all the men on earth? Worse, I wondered how I could possibly want to return for Round Two.
“Anyway,” I said, “the sex was just ridiculously good. I wouldn’t admit that to anyone else, but I’ve never experienced anything quite like it before. I thought we could never do something like that again, partly because it seemed so… weird. But now that a few days have passed, I think I’m ready to doit again. I want to. No, Ineedto do it again. Like, really, really badly.
“So, here’s what I say we do. We’ll just fuck. It’ll be no big deal. Free country, right? Nothing stopping us. You don’t have a roommate, so it’s probably best to do it at your place. We can do it at mine when my roommate isn’t there. Now, about schedules. I’m good for Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, anytime after seven. Sundays we can play by ear. Of course, if either of us feels so horny that we can’t stand it a second longer, we can adjust our schedules.”
“Uh, Zane?”
“In a minute, Jakob, I’m talking. I know that hockey is the most important thing on earth for both of us. And yeah, our teams obviously hate on another.”
“Zane, look?—”
“Don’t interrupt. We at least have to make sure what we’re doing doesn’t hurt our on-ice performance. If anything, I think it’ll help our play. Regular fucking will allow us both to release a boatload of tension. As for the sex itself, I can keep fucking you, but I won’t rule out letting you give it to me in the ass—ifI’m in the right mood. No one ever said Zane Hirst isn’t a fair guy, and?—”
Jakob slapped me across the face. He didn’t slap me hard; just enough to shut me up. I touched my fingers to the stinging spot before I snapped back to reality.
“What the fuck did you do that for?” I asked.
“Because I didn’t have a bucket of ice water handy.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Of course you don’t. You’re Zane Hirst. There’s nothing on the planet that wouldn’t fly straight over your head.”
“What’s that supposed to mean.”
“You could be brainwashed with an eye dropper. Need I say more?”
“Gee, suddenly I think duct tape will be as important as lube the next time we fuck. It’s the only way to shut you up.”
“That’s what you think.”
“That it’s the only way to shut you up?”
“No, that we’ll ever have sex again.”
“But… but…”
“Yeah, yeah, Zane, I know how much you enjoyed my butt. Let me tell you, this ass comes at a price.”
“It was the most incredible moment of your life. You said so yourself.”
“I did not say it was the most incredible moment of my life.”
“Not in so many words, Jakob, but your eyes told the whole story.”
You know what he did? He rolled his eyes. Worse, he served up a little snort to go with it, kind of like a side dish.
“So, are you really going to tell me you didn’t like it?” I asked.
“No.”
“So, it was just a mediocre shag-fest then, huh? I can tell you one thing, though. I happen to know that you didn’t fake that orgasm. I gave you the real McCoy.”
“As usual, Zane, you need someone to draw you a diagram.”
If I hadn’t wanted to hump Jakob’s brains out so badly, I would’ve decked him for that. Actually, I would’ve sent him to the moon for slapping me, and I couldn’t decide which was the greater offense.
“I’ve gone along with a lot of things to get laid,” I said, “so go ahead and do your worst.”
