Since everyone (eventually) turned back to their business, I could only assume that they bought it.
“I know it was a mistake,” Zane said, “but you said what you did for a reason.”
“Doesn’t the same apply to you, bub?”
He rolled his eyes at me. I can’t help it if he was extremely selective about history.
“Okay, fine,” he said, “it applies to me, too.”
“In that case, something’s obviously going on between us, even if you won’t admit it.”
“Yeah? Well, neither will you.”
“Um, I think I just did. Dig the wax out of your ears, would you?”
“You know something, Jakob, you’re really starting to annoy me.”
“Oooh, I’msoscared.”
“You should be, pal.”
“So, what are you gonna do? Bend me over and f?—”
I stopped myself short of saying what I really wanted to, because I knew the bystanders would never buy a second slip up. Besides, I knew that was exactly what he wanted to do, and I meant to drive him crazy.
“No,” he said, “I’m just going to cut this off at the pass.”
“What?”
“You know what I’m talking about. And before you say it, no, I’m not fucking scared.”
“So, you’d never donethiswith a guy?”
I made an O with my thumb and index finger, rotating my free index finger in and out. Don’t laugh. That saved me from making any more unfortunate comments out loud.
“No,” he said. “I’ve never… whatever the hell that was, with another guy.”
“But now that you have, you’re trapped.”
“No, I’m not. I can stop myself from doing it again any time I want.”
“That’s so original.”
“Don’t believe me?”
I shook my head. “No, as a matter of fact, I don’t.”
“Well, watch me go.”
Zane stood up but paused before leaving the table.
“I’m going,” he said.
“You say that, but you haven’t taken the first step toward the door.”
“I’m going to. Watch this.”
He shuffled forward and smiled hugely, like he’d accomplished the impossible. I would imagine he flashed his parents the same look the first time he successfully used the potty as a toddler.
