When he paused, I knew that he wanted to be serious, even if I was in no mood for that.
“This is driving me nuts,” Zane said. “The whole thing.”
“That’s the whole idea of servitude, isn’t it? It’s not enough to cater to my every whim. You’re supposed to hate it. Isn’t that fair?”
He rolled his eyes like he thought I could never be serious—and he was right on that score.
“It’s not about waiting on you hand and foot,” he said.
I hoisted an eyebrow, hoping that meant that he would continue serving me like that. Knowing Zane, that was probably a bridge too far.
“Then what is it about?” I asked.
“It’s about you… aboutus, I mean. I can’t stand to go on like this. It’s like being so close to you but so far away.”
I paused, still unwilling to take my ex-boyfriend as seriously as he wanted.
“And who’s fault is that?” I asked.
“Who’s fault? I don’t think anyone’s to blame. It’s just one of those things.”
Oh my God, he couldn’t be serious. Like, he honestly must’ve thought I’d just fallen off the turnip truck.
“I don’t know,” I said, “I’m not the one who ended the relationship. Gee, who was that now? Let me think…”
Zane didn’t roll his eyes, but I knew he wanted to in the worst way. If I achieved nothing else from this, at least I could drive Zane to a new level of crazy.
“I really don’t see it like that,” he said, “and you shouldn’t either.”
I pointed to myself as if to confirm that he was actually talking about me.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll play along. Why do I share blame in your acting like an asshole?”
He pursed his lips and released a breath through his nose.
“I’m not saying you actually shareblamein me being an asshole,” he said.
“But you’re admitting that you are one?”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.”
He tossed his hands up and let them land in his lap. I understood at that moment that I needed to take my ex-boyfriend seriously, sort of.
“The way I see it,” he said, “we had the deck stacked against us.”
“Okay…”
“You don’t know what I’m talking about? We’re on opposing teams engaged in the fiercest rivalry I’ve ever seen. And we were both competing for the same goal, the same prize. I can’t help it if your team stinks.”
“Oooh, way to butter me up, Zane.”
I wondered for a moment if he literally wanted to butter me up. That would’ve made for some fun in the bedroom had he not broken up with me.
“It seemed like a bad idea for us to get together,” he said. “Shit, on paper, it seemed like a horrendous idea. You’d think nuclear war could’ve broken out.”
“How dramatic of you, Zane.”
He sucked in a deep breath and released it. That was all he could do to keep me from getting under his skin, I could tell.
