He half-shrugged. “I dunno. I would’ve thought you’d be happy to see me.”
I was but wouldn’t let on. Not yet at least.
“If you’d come to see me any later, I would’ve been gone,” I said. “You would’ve missed me.”
“Is that your way of asking me where the hell I’ve been?”
“Maybe.”
Zane glanced over his shoulder, like he’d spotted something interesting in the hall. I knew the truth, though. I’d backed him into a corner from which he couldn’t wiggle free.
I’d spent days in that hospital, waiting for the love of my life to show up and prove that he gave a damn. Only he wasn’t the love of my life anymore. We’d broken up. I still couldn’t help but just assume he would’ve been there one way or another.
“Look,” he said, “I know that you must be thinking I’m the biggest asshole in the universe.”
“Yeah, that’s definitely a starting point.”
He released a tiny laugh, like he either saw that coming or knew he deserved it. I preferred to call it both.
“I hope you understand how hard it’s been for me ever since that game,” he said. “It’s not just that I couldn’t enjoy the win with the rest of the team. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep.”
“Gee, and I thought I had it rough, laying here in traction.”
“Come on, Jakob, I know you can see how hard it is to be in my shoes, too.”
Same old Zane, right? He could find a way to minimize someone else’s pain to focus on his own. Still, I’d wanted to see him and didn’t want him to leave.
“I guess so,” I said, “but it’s not like I accused you of hurting me on purpose or anything. You didn’t, did you?”
He paused for a moment, and I hoisted one eyebrow at him.
“No, no, of course not!” he said. “What kind of guy do you think I am?”
“You really want an answer to that?”
“No, thank you.”
“Look, I didn’t know what to think at first. I wanted to think that you would never hurt me, that you were just being a competitor trying to help his team win. You’ve got to admit you got ultra-aggressive in that game.”
Zane drew a deep breath and closed his eyes. That might’ve been the first time I’d ever seen my boyfriend—ex-boyfriend—give his actions a second thought, so it felt like progress.
“I do have something to tell you,” Zane said. “That shot you took, that I gave you… it wasn’t completely accidental.”
My stomach twisted. Did he really mean what I thought?
“What, are you saying you fractured my neck on purpose?”
“No, that part of it wasn’t on purpose. And, believe me, I never would’ve done anything like that if I’d known that would be the end result. I wanted to win and felt so desperate to prove a point to you that I became way more aggressive than I needed to be. And that’s why I took the shot I did. I had to be the tough guy. I had to put you in your place, I guess. And that’s why I did what I did. I’m so sorry, Jakob.”
Okay, now Zane looked like he was going to cry. Seriously. Not shitting you here. Zane actually cracked a little at the end of his sentence and had to throw his hands over his face.
When he removed his hands, I spotted actual tears flowing from his eyes, and not the crocodile kind either. If not for that, I wouldn’t have believed he was sorry at all. He would’ve just wanted my forgiveness to absolve whatever guilt he might’ve felt over my injury.
He sniffled a little and looked up at me.
“Did you hear that?” he asked. “I said I was sorry.”
“Yeah, I heard you. You didn’t injure my eardrums, you know.”
