“I don’t see any answer. I can try to find paid childcare, but Jos will hate a babysitter, and overnight means an adult, not some teenager. How can I find someone I trust and can afford in the span of the next week, before I’m on evenings? I think I have to quit.” My stomach rolled at saying that out loud.
“Do youwantto quit?” Callum asked.
“Not like this, suddenly, because I have to. But I definitely don’t want to do undercover ever again, and I didn’t love working as a patrol officer before that. I went in with ideals that got flattened along the way.”
“Then quit.”
“It’s not that simple. Krystal didn’t leave much cash, just the house. Even with Jos’s dependent stipend, I’d have to find another job. Or sell the house and move somewhere cheaper, and Jos loves his space. And I’m still in the guardianship process with Jos. They’re not going to be impressed if I’m unemployed.”
“Those seem like pretty weak-ass reasons to do a job you hate.”
“I don’thateit. We need cops and we really need people who do the job for the right reasons. That last case took some of the nastiest motherfuckers on the planet off the streets.” I gritted my teeth, refusing to remember details. I had copies of my reports, and I would review them before I was called to testify, but I really wanted that shit out of my brain. “Enforcing the law is important. I feel like I can still do some good.”
“How do other cops who are parents do it?”
“Spouses? Extended family?” It wasn’t something I’d ever thought about. I hadn’t managed a long-term relationship, ever. Kids hadnotbeen on the table, and as a gay man, I wasn’t at risk for an oops. “Shifts really mean dumping some of theresponsibility on other people. Part of the reason the divorce rate’s high for cops, I bet.”
“You don’t have other relatives?”
“Not around here. Dad’s cousins are out east, and my grandparents died when I was small.”
We drove for a few minutes in silence, while I ate my stress in chocolate Timbits.
“Hey, save a couple for me,” Callum protested.
I picked one up and at the next light, shoved it at his mouth. He laughed and opened up, licking my fingers as I stuffed the donut in.
“Yuck.” I pretended revulsion, wiping my fingers on my jeans, but in fact, the touch of his tongue on my skin had flashed heat through me.
“You know,” he said indistinctly while chewing, “maybe we could help out for a bit.”
“We? Who?”
“Grandpa and me. We’re right next door. Jos could sleep over on the nights you’re out. Give you more time to make better plans.”
I stared at him. “You’d do that?”
“Sure. For a while. I’m travelling a lot for road trips, which sucks even more than shifts for spouses, by the way. But Grandpa likes Jos. I know he’d want to help. Thing is, I get up early for practice with this long-ass commute, and he heads out early to the store most mornings.”
“Jos’s school bus comes at eight. He’s old enough to be responsible for getting himself ready.” I didn’t want to put too much hope on this reprieve. “But you shouldn’t commit your grandpa to anything.”
“He’ll for sure want to help, once he knows you’re in a bind.” The smile that softened Callum’s features was accompanied by aheadshake. “Grandpa’s the softest touch in the universe. In fact, I need to volunteer my time before he offers to do it all.”
“That’d be awesome.” I slumped in my seat. “God, you have no idea.” The thought of not having to solve this dilemma in a week was a weight off my back. “But are you sure? How long till your apartment’s fixed?”
“They say now at least a month. But I’m going to end the lease. I’ll stay with Grandpa for a while.” Something unhappy crossed his face, but he didn’t explain and I wouldn’t ask.
“Well, I won’t turn down a miracle.”
“Think Jos will be okay with it?”
“Versus going off to live with his Aunt Heidi? Absolutely.” I anticipated an argument about not needing a babysitter, but I already knew he liked Roy, and a couple of times when I couldn’t find him, he’d turned out to be next door talking to the old man.
Callum pulled the truck into my driveway and parked. I turned to him. “Want to come in for a minute and say hi to Jos, and we can see what he thinks?”
“You’re going to ask a twelve-year-old for his approval?”
I blinked. “Well, it’s his life too.”
